I was asked to give a talk at the reunion, and I decided to use it as
an opportunity to let them know about my life with Doug, but under the
circumstances, I worried a little about doing it. After the reunion, I
was overjoyed when I received a request from the family genealogist for
information about Doug to be included in our family tree. But now that
we will be married, the line connecting Doug and me in the family
tree will be changed from a dotted to a solid one.


Following the wedding, we will have a big dinner reception, but without
the garter, the tossed bouquet, and the wedding cake with two men in
tuxes. This will be much more than a wedding reception; we will be
celebrating 23 years of living in a faithful and committed relationship

We
want all of our friends to join in this celebration, our liberal
friends, our conservative ones, and homophobic and homo-naive friends
who are really struggling with the issue of same-sex marriage. It is
our hope that by bringing everyone together, the festivity will help
them understand that our relationship is just like theirs, improving
the level of their tolerance as they come to know each other in the
spirit of the celebration.

Following the wedding, we will make
some media announcements of our marriage. Gay weddings by their very
nature are revolutionary and political. While we rejoice in the fact
that in Iowa we can have full benefit of marriage, our LGBT brothers
and sisters in many other parts of the United States do not have
marriage equality. We hope that as others begin to see our wedding as
socio-normative, some of the barriers will be removed for others.


I look forward to the opportunity to introduce Doug as “my husband.”
For me, our marriage removes the last barrier to full incorporation
into each other’s life.