By Michelle Garcia
Originally published on Advocate.com December 11 2009 4:10 PM ET
We keep seeing movie posters everywhere featuring Disney's newest villain, Dr. Facilier of The Princess and the Frog. He's quite a dandy fellow, if you ask us. The feather in his top hat and his dapper jacket with tails got us thinking about our favorite Disney villains of all time, which made us realize that they basically all have some serious diva traits. Take a step onto memory lane — hopefully your mom won't have to bust out the sheet protectors because of those awful Ursula nightmares again.
Cruella De Vil — 101 Dalmatians: Have you asked Cruella how she is lately? We're sure she replied, "Miserable, darling, as usual. Perfectly wretched." Spoken like a true, self-important diva. If Cruella De Vil were a real person, she would be the number 1 target of PETA — seriously, who is malicious enough to collect a ton of adorable puppies only to skin them? And no doubt, with those cheekbones, that lady's had some work done.
Maleficent — Sleeping Beauty: When you’re dubbed the “Mistress of All Evil,” you pretty much guarantee yourself a spot on the Best Disney Villains of All Time list ... not to mention this bad-ass morphs into a dragon at the end of the movie. Really, the person we should be giving credit to here is Eleanor Audley, because she is the voice of Maleficent and the wicked stepmother in Cinderella. Talk about mastering your craft.
Jafar — Aladdin: Jafar has a devilishly colored, flowing cape, precisely arched eyebrows, a stroeable beard with a perfectly preened curl, and a big gold serpentine staff. Yeah, it's pretty obvious Jafar wasn't trying to steal Princess Jasmine from Aladdin for romantic purposes. When he told her that Aladdin had already been executed, that queen wasn't trying to steal her, he just wanted to instigate some drama.
Ursula the Sea Witch — The Little Mermaid: Nothing like basing your villain on a drag queen to lure in a gay crowd. Ursula the Sea Witch is described as an “obese, purple-skinned, white-haired female human with a black facial mole and tentacles.” As voiced by Pat Carroll, the evil sea creature — who makes Ariel trade in her voice for the ability to walk — was based on both the sorceress in the Hans Christian Andersen story and the drag queen Divine.
Mad Madam Mim - The Sword in the Stone: Never underestimate a woman with an ego, a shag gray bouffant that can just as easily be pulled back into pigtails, and the ability to morph into anything she wants with the power of magic. The Sword and the Stone is one of Disney’s less remembered movies, and Mim is only in it for 15 minutes. But it’s the most entertaining part of the movie, and the wizards’ duel between her and the good Merlin is a hoot.
Lady Tremaine — Cinderella: What child with an even slightly scary stepmother didn't fear Lady Tremaine's wrath (and sour puss)? It made her and her janky daughters being left in the dust by the royal carriage that much sweeter.
The Queen - Snow White: Yes, there are many queens in Disney fairy tales, but only one known simply as “The Queen.” As Snow White’s wicked stepmother, she is the first Disney villain and probably the best remembered. Of course, she is far more scary as the witch with the poison apple that she turns into near the film’s end, but as the fading beauty who narrates the piece, she inspired millions of gay men to practice saying, “Mirror, mirror on the wall ... ”
Captain Hook - Peter Pan: The porn star stache, the Cher-like curls and that cocked hat with the blown out feather make Captain Hook equal parts villain and metro Pirate Queen. But it’s his fear of Crocodiles (one of which ultimately does him in) that makes Captain Hook such a memorable villain.
The Queen of Hearts - Alice in Wonderland: Alice herself best sums up the Queen of Hearts as a "fat, pompous, bad tempered old tyrant." And as much as we would like to demand that every moron who crosses our path to be beheaded, perhaps it's a bit over-the-top.