By Jami Smith
Originally published on Advocate.com January 07 2012 2:20 PM ET
Every week, The
Advocate's Jami Smith brings you the top 10 tweets from LGBT comedians —
and our favorite gay jokes from straight comedians, or just whatever made us
laugh. For previous editions of this series, check out the Comedy section. Or follow
@gaysayer on Twitter now if you want daily updates.
And now a post from your host:
Dinner w/ my ex and her new gf, I can't help but think “All 30 of our fingers have been inside of you.” Of course we should have dessert.
— Jami Smith (@jamismithcomic) January 6, 2012
Number 10:
Julia Roberts is giving Richard Gere a blowjob in Pretty Woman, now on ABC Family channel.
— Alec Mapa (@AlecMapa) January 2, 2012
Number 9:
Who needs physical contact with another human when you can put your jammies in the dryer?
— Louis Peitzman (@LouisPeitzman) January 3, 2012
Number 8:
UPS just announced they're changing their name to 'SUP? to appeal to the younger shipping market.
— Paula Poundstone (@paulapoundstone) January 1, 2012
Number 7:
Need some grammar help. I can never remember whether Lindsay Lohan is semimonthly bisexual or bimonthly semisexual.
— Chris Schleicher (@cschleichsrun) January 5, 2012
Number 6:
I wonder if Michelle Bachman now believes in plan B...
— Adam Lehman (@AtomLehman) January 4, 2012
Number 5:
Everyone who's excited about a movie starring Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah knows what semen tastes like.
— Nick Stadler (@NickadooLA) January 5, 2012
Number 4:
"I don't think you're gay. I think you're confused and trying to fill a void in your life." You're confusing me with religion.
— alison egert (@alisonisfunny) January 7, 2012
Number 3:
Love the sinner, hate the asshole who calls it a sin.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 5, 2012
Number 2:
I can’t tell if everyone’s honking their horns for New Year’s or because I’m squatting in the road eating this crushed Chinese takeout.
— Stacey Nightmare (@STACEYNIGHTMARE) January 1, 2012
Number 1, Best Tweet Ever:
Fox News knows we can google stuff, right?
— Eminence Front (@tweetcomedian) January 5, 2012
Links:
[1] http://www.advocate.com/
[2] http://www.twitter.com/gaysayer
[3] https://twitter.com/jamismithcomic/status/155403848121450496
[4] https://twitter.com/AlecMapa/status/153689935856152576
[5] https://twitter.com/LouisPeitzman/status/154112437593968640
[6] https://twitter.com/paulapoundstone/status/153508932684492800
[7] https://twitter.com/cschleichsrun/status/155004539358031872
[8] https://twitter.com/AtomLehman/status/154626668152111105
[9] https://twitter.com/NickadooLA/status/154996588744417281
[10] https://twitter.com/alisonisfunny/status/155505089077977089
[11] https://twitter.com/TheTweetOfGod/status/155057929568002048
[12] https://twitter.com/STACEYNIGHTMARE/status/153278142583287808
[13] https://twitter.com/tweetcomedian/status/155064383268065280