By Jami Smith
Originally published on Advocate.com January 28 2012 3:35 PM ET
Every week, The Advocate's Jami Smith brings you the top 10 tweets
from LGBT comedians — and our favorite gay jokes from straight comedians, or
just whatever made us laugh. For previous editions of this series, check out
the Comedy section. Or join the more than 3,500 people who follow
@gaysayer on Twitter now for daily updates.
A post from your host:
Do I have a small bladder? Or am I just trying to leave the room as often as possible?
— Jami Smith (@jamismithcomic) January 24, 2012
Number 10:
Panting after running up a short set of stairs is the American way.
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) January 22, 2012
Number 9:
I tried having phone sex with this guy who's really flamboyant.He asked, "Who are you wearing?"
— Nick Stadler (@NickadooLA) January 21, 2012
Number 8:
Women's breasts are like martinis, one isn't enough and three are too many.
— Laughing Lesbian (@LaughingLesbian) January 26, 2012
Number 7:
Startin a book club in my car today. Interested? Can we use your car? Mine's at home. I'm at the airport. Come get me. There's no book club.
— Tobbie (@TheTobbie) January 25, 2012
Number 6:
Just left a note on the ex's car saying "I STILL LOVE YOU" hope it doesn't go unnoticed. I keyed it in pretty deep.
— PhilLaysheO (@PhilLaysheO) January 5, 2012
Number 5:
"War Horse" and "The Help" are the SAME movie! I watched them on my laptop and they BOTH have a 90 minute scene where I just check Facebook.
— Chris Kelly (@imchriskelly) January 22, 2012
Number 4:
I spend most football games wondering if any of the players have ever heard of Carol Channing.
— Chris Schleicher (@cschleichsrun) January 23, 2012
Number 3:
If we work together as a group, I think we can get people to start calling nosebleeds 'face periods'.
— alison egert (@alisonisfunny) January 26, 2012
Number 2:
Pretty soon, Grindr will have a function to identify who's inside you.
— Chris Doucette (@Chris_Doucette) January 27, 2012
Number 1, Best Tweet Ever:
Tonight the Katherine Heigl Film Festival opens in hell. It will last 100 years. Attendance is mandatory. Man, Satan's good at his job.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 27, 2012
Links:
[1] http://www.advocate.com/
[2] http://www.twitter.com/gaysayer
[3] https://twitter.com/jamismithcomic/status/161671271296409600
[4] https://twitter.com/IamEnidColeslaw/status/160889171970502656
[5] https://twitter.com/NickadooLA/status/160826489783336960
[6] https://twitter.com/LaughingLesbian/status/162329210701086721
[7] https://twitter.com/TheTobbie/status/162200244283654144
[8] https://twitter.com/PhilLaysheO/status/154726527056089088
[9] https://twitter.com/imchriskelly/status/161204849118158848
[10] https://twitter.com/cschleichsrun/status/161309018323820544
[11] https://twitter.com/alisonisfunny/status/162349161394610176
[12] https://twitter.com/Chris_Doucette/status/162937435569926144
[13] https://twitter.com/TheTweetOfGod/status/162919144457646080