By Jami Smith

Originally published on Advocate.com March 18 2012 10:55 PM ET

Every week, The Advocate's Jami Smith brings you the top 10 tweets
from LGBT comedians — and our favorite gay jokes from straight comedians, or
just whatever made us laugh. For daily updates, join the more than 4,800 people
who already follow @gaysayer on Twitter.And now a post from your host:

I wash my sheets a lot to keep up the appearance of living life to the fullest.

— Jami Smith (@jamismithcomic) March 9, 2012

Number 10 :

I never chose to be a lesbian.I just always fell in love with great people who I eventually went to the gym with and realized were women

— Paula Pell (@perlapell) March 17, 2012

Number 9:

My dad just referred to grindr as buttbook. I want to call that progress. #gayrights

— Peter Depp (@peterdepp) March 14, 2012

Number 8:

St. Patrick just threw up all over the pearly gates. Sigh... if I had known it would be like this I'd have let Ireland stay pagan.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) March 17, 2012

Number 7:

Everyone in the airport is wearing green, all except the gay men. They're wearing chartreuse.

— Shawn Pelofsky (@shawnpelofsky) March 17, 2012

Number 6:

So, if a lesbian cruise ship hits an iceberg, is it "femmes and children first" into the lifeboats? (And "bottoms first" on the gay cruise?)

— Kevin Taylor (@KEVTaylor17) March 12, 2012

Number 5:

I think the gays should take over Uganda and change the name of the country to Ugogurl.

— Nick Stadler (@NickadooLA) March 9, 2012

Number 4:

The tooth fairy just recently recovered from the Julia Roberts years.

— Eminence Front (@tweetcomedian) March 18, 2012

Number 3:

Santorum sweeps South. Feels weird about it because that's women's work.

— Chris Doucette (@Chris_Doucette) March 14, 2012

Number 2:

Woohoo! St. Patrick's Day! I celebrated by taking a shot, shouting "homo" into a mirror, then throwing myself against a wall.

— Chris Kelly (@imchriskelly) March 17, 2012

Number 1, Best Tweet Ever:

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!!!I'm not Irish.I’m Jewish. If you want to see green on me, check my wallet.

— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) March 17, 2012