Gaysayer Translates Latest Round of He-Said, He-Said

By Jami Smith

Originally published on Advocate.com October 17 2012 1:08 AM ET

As the debates heat up, so do the political zingers. Thankfully, our Gaysayer comedians translated some of Mitt Romney’s policies on women, gun control, and job creation. Rest assured we screened binders of comedians for this important debate analysis, and we were just shocked by the number of qualified candidates.

(By the way, for the lighter side of political coverage, join the more than 7,000 people who follow our @Gaysayer feed for LGBT comedy on Twitter.)

 

Romney is confused. He thinks the middle class are the people who board airplanes after the people in first class.

— Fortune Feimster (@fortunefunny) October 17, 2012

 

"Hey, I love coal. I've made millions by turning it into diamonds in my butt."

— Jami Smith (@jamismithcomic) October 17, 2012

 

Mitt Romney: I will make sure women can make dinner.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) October 17, 2012

 

"A loveless marriage is the key to decreasing gun violence. I've never fired a weapon!" ~ Mitt Romney #debate

— Blacktress (@Blacktress) October 17, 2012

 

"If I can't find you a job when I'm President, I'll make you a sister-wife." -Mitt Romney #debate

— James Garrett (@BuddyFaceHead) October 17, 2012

 

Mitt Romney: "I believe in equal pay for women-- by outlawing abortions women'll be able to trap rich men into marriage with rich husbands."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) October 17, 2012

 

It must be a fun change of pace for stupid people to be referred to as "undecided voters" this time of year.

— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) October 17, 2012

 

CNN: In preparation for tonight's "town hall" format, Romney has been gradually acclimating himself to the sight and smell of real people.

— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) October 16, 2012

 

Suck my pension. #Debate

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) October 17, 2012

 

Romney: "I plan to cut taxes like its the hair of a gay classmate" #debates

— Tamra Brown (@browntamra) October 17, 2012

 

I have to fact check this, but I'm pretty sure that Romney had five boys because he specifically hates women.

— Erin Foley (@erinfoleycomic) October 17, 2012