By Jami Smith
Originally published on Advocate.com November 12 2012 6:28 PM ET
This week, we rejoice in the reelection of our president, we honor our veteran troops, but most importantly, we mourn America’s most tragic loss — the break up of Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez. Here are our favorite Twitter jokes of the week.
For even more laughs, join the legion of more than 7,000 jokesters who follow @gaysayer. New jokes are posted every day.
And now a post from your Twitter host:
Almost went to the gym before I remembered that lesbians don't give a shit and got a cat instead.
— Jami Smith (@jamismithcomic) November 9, 2012
BREAKING: Taco Bell's are popping up everywhere in Colorado
— The Fake CNN (@TheFakeCNN) November 8, 2012
Just once I want John Corbett to slip in a "YOU BROKE MY HEART!" into an Applebee's ad
— Sara Schaefer (@saraschaefer1) November 9, 2012
I walked by an empty chair and hugged President Obama.
— Solomon Georgio (@solomongeorgio) November 8, 2012
Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez broke up. I bet Selena pulls an Anne Heche and goes back to dating guys.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) November 10, 2012
Porn actors have to wear condoms? Now we'll get to watch porn stars struggle with something besides their life choices.
— mark normand (@marknorm) November 9, 2012
I'm kind of pissed at how adorable One Direction is.Back in MY day?We had Joey Fucking Fatone.
— Gay-at-home Dad™ (@GayAtHomeDad) November 9, 2012
Shock, rage, displaced rage, seething hate, learn nothing: The 5 Stages of FOX Grief.
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 9, 2012
My dog is so depressed cuz he has to deal with Obama for 28 more years..
— Teewee (@Wussawilla) November 9, 2012
My great grandfather proudly served in WWI. If we go back any further, things are gonna get awkward and way less proud. #confederacy #shame
— Annabel Oakes (@annabeloakes) November 11, 2012
Number 1, Best Tweet Ever:
Fox News: Announcement of Bieber-Gomez split specifically timed to distract teenagers from Benghazi #biebergate
— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 11, 2012