Best Tweet Ever: Breaking Bieber News Has Us Distracted

By Jami Smith

Originally published on November 12 2012 6:28 PM ET

This week, we rejoice in the reelection of our president, we honor our veteran troops, but most importantly, we mourn America’s most tragic loss — the break up of Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez.  Here are our favorite Twitter jokes of the week.

For even more laughs, join the legion of more than 7,000 jokesters who follow @gaysayer. New jokes are posted every day.

And now a post from your Twitter host:

Almost went to the gym before I remembered that lesbians don't give a shit and got a cat instead.

— Jami Smith (@jamismithcomic) November 9, 2012


Number 10:

BREAKING: Taco Bell's are popping up everywhere in Colorado

— The Fake CNN (@TheFakeCNN) November 8, 2012


Number 9:

Just once I want John Corbett to slip in a "YOU BROKE MY HEART!" into an Applebee's ad

— Sara Schaefer (@saraschaefer1) November 9, 2012


Number 8:

I walked by an empty chair and hugged President Obama.

— Solomon Georgio (@solomongeorgio) November 8, 2012


Number 7:

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez broke up. I bet Selena pulls an Anne Heche and goes back to dating guys.

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) November 10, 2012

Number 6:

Porn actors have to wear condoms? Now we'll get to watch porn stars struggle with something besides their life choices.

— mark normand (@marknorm) November 9, 2012


Number 5:

I'm kind of pissed at how adorable One Direction is.Back in MY day?We had Joey Fucking Fatone.

— Gay-at-home Dad™ (@GayAtHomeDad) November 9, 2012


Number 4:

Shock, rage, displaced rage, seething hate, learn nothing: The 5 Stages of FOX Grief.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 9, 2012


Number 3:

My dog is so depressed cuz he has to deal with Obama for 28 more years..

— Teewee (@Wussawilla) November 9, 2012


Number 2:

My great grandfather proudly served in WWI. If we go back any further, things are gonna get awkward and way less proud. #confederacy #shame

— Annabel Oakes (@annabeloakes) November 11, 2012


Number 1, Best Tweet Ever:

Fox News: Announcement of Bieber-Gomez split specifically timed to distract teenagers from Benghazi #biebergate

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 11, 2012