Gaysayer's Top Twitter Comedians of 2012

By Jami Smith

Originally published on Advocate.com January 11 2013 8:00 AM ET

The best way to tell a Twitter comedian that you love them is to retweet their jokes to your followers. It’s no secret that Gaysayer loves a lot of LGBT friendly comedians (we’re slutty for inclusive comedy). In our first year, we tweeted jokes by more than 600 comedians.

To celebrate our first anniversary, we’ve compiled a list of jokes from our five most addictive Gaysayer comedians (and some honorable mentions). Here are the most retweeted comedians of 2012.

Number 5: Mary Charlene
@iamenidcoleslaw

Johnny Depp and Russell Brand walk into a Claire's and buy all the bracelets

— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) December 26, 2012

 

Right now Tom Cruise is explaining to Suri why mommy isn't going to Space Heaven

— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) July 17, 2012

 

Love is letting a guy do for you what you could do for yourself in half the time & with only one finger.

— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) May 8, 2012

 

Number 4: Jenny Johnson
@jennyjohnsonhi5

Jessica Simpson has already taught her daughter everything she knows.

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 1, 2012

 

You know those women who write love letters to men in prison? Their vote counts just as much as yours.

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) November 6, 2012

 

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) June 10, 2012

 

Number 3: Zackary Ross
@zackblows

American Idol seems like the longest job interview for Carnival Cruises

— Zackary Ross (@Zackblows) March 2, 2012

 

I hope Lindsay Lohan is ok but if all else fails we still have her twin sister from Parent Trap

— Zackary Ross (@Zackblows) June 8, 2012

 

It takes a strong person to admit when they're wrong, but an even stronger one to climb this tree so I can spy on my ex-boyfriend

— Zackary Ross (@Zackblows) June 6, 2012

Number 2: God
@thetweetofgod

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 2, 2012

 

If Mohammed and Moses got gay married, most of the world’s problems would end.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) December 28, 2012

 

People, I can't just "damn" any "it" you happen to be mad at. There's a procedure. Fill out the forms.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 3, 2013

And the Number 1, most tweeted Gaysayer comedian of 2012… Nick Stadler
@nickadoo

"I'm proud to come from a state that has both same sex marriage and healthcare, but those things will crush America." - Mitt Romney

— Nick Stadler (@Nickadoo) October 4, 2012

 

To supporters of traditional marriage, I offer you this goat in exchange for your 12-year-old daughter. He's a nice goat.

— Nick Stadler (@Nickadoo) May 15, 2012

 

This just in: Republicans amend the Constitution to define rape as a sacred institution between one man and one woman who was asking for it.

— Nick Stadler (@Nickadoo) August 21, 2012

 

Paul Ryan saying his favorite band is Rage Against the Machine is like Dick Cheney saying his favorite band is Heart.

— Nick Stadler (@Nickadoo) August 18, 2012

Our "honorable mentions" who round out the top 10 comedians on Gaysayer:
@gaysayer

Papa John's cutting back employee hours to avoid Obamacare, if anyone's hungry for a pizza made by desperate sick people.

— Jocelyn Plums (@FilthyRichmond) November 10, 2012

 

When Elton John and Madonna fight, it's like homosexuality's parents are getting divorced.

— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) August 6, 2012

 

John Edwards cheated on his dying wife, had a child and liedabout it. Thank God North Carolina has protected marriage from the gays.

— Alec Mapa (@AlecMapa) June 2, 2012

 

Are you sure Hitler's the worst person ever? Because my friend Becky said she's "officially the worst" after eating three cupcakes.

— Chris Schleicher (@cschleichsrun) May 7, 2012

 

If you don't have anything nice to say, just say "guuuuuuurl" for like 15 seconds and walk away.

— braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) August 31, 2012