By Lucas Grindley
Originally published on Advocate.com September 28 2011 7:20 PM ET
Guessing who is gay and who isn't can be a challenge. Details magazine used to dedicate a feature each month to a tongue-in-cheek instruction manual for deciding whether someone is gay or a cyclist, for example, or gay or a socialite's husband.
Arguably the best number in Legally Blonde (which a lot of gay men know is also a musical) is "Gay or European?" — a song devoted to figuring out the difference between the two.
But now Google can end all the wondering.
Bloggers first started noticing Tuesday that asking Google "Is Enrique Iglesias gay?" would return a "best guess" from the search engine.
"Best guess for Enrique Iglesias Sexual orientation is Straight," declares Google at the top of its search results.
On Rachel Maddow, "Best guess for Rachel Maddow Sexual orientation is Lesbian."
On Anderson Cooper ... nothing.
Google doesn't have all the answers, after all. Ask if its rival, Apple, has hired a gay CEO in Tim Cook, and it's also speechless. Ask whether the Focus on the Family is right in its theory that SpongeBob SquarePants is gay, and Google doesn't take sides.
All the innuendo floating around the comedy world about Marcus Bachmann's sexual orientation is put to rest, though.
"Is Marcus Bachmann gay?" you ask.
Google has the answer: "Best guess for Marcus Bachmann Sexual orientation is Straight."