By Frank Lowe
Originally published on Advocate.com February 20 2014 3:28 PM ET
There is a slang term thrown around in the gay community that actually grates on me more than the word “faggot.” It describes the child of two gay people, and it is disgusting. I am referring to “gayby.” In particular, I notice it from the younger generation, and it needs to be stopped dead in its tracks.
I, of all people, love a good inappropriate joke. I literally live for when people say the wrong thing at the wrong time. “Gayby,” however, is beyond inappropriate, it’s just wrong. I have seen it used in headlines for articles in a tongue-in-cheek manner, such as “The Gayby Boom Is Here.” It’s fucking awful, and we need to eradicate it.
The word “gay” itself is perfectly harmless and appropriate when describing someone’s sexuality. If it’s used as a synonym for “lame” or “stupid,” however, it takes on another meaning and is degrading. I have noticed a shift against using it this way, and I feel this is progress. “Gayby” is almost next-level degradation. It’s mixing two things that don’t need to be mixed. A child does not need to be labeled, period. My entire reason for becoming a voice within the gay community is to try to show the world that gay parenting is just parenting. Things such as “The Gayby Boom” work directly against that, and I consider it regression.
The worst thing that could happen is that “gayby” catches on in schools and kids like mine are openly called “gaybies” in a negative way. This is a very real possibility if we continue to allow this word to exist.
It shouldn’t be too hard to make a word like this disappear. Gay people have to quit using it, even as a joke. If you hear someone say it, tell them to shut the fuck up and explain why it’s bad. If we all do our part, kids such as mine will never hear the word “gayby.”
FRANK LOWE is The Advocate’s parenting writer. Follow Frank on Twitter @GayAtHomeDad and on Instagram at gayathomedad.