Weekly Q&A with @GayAtHomeDad

By Frank Lowe

Originally published on Advocate.com February 21 2014 12:30 PM ET

Happy Friday, everybody! This is my weekly Q&A session from Twitter. Anyone can ask me a question in regard to parenting, and I will select a few and answer them here. To submit a question, tweet me @GayAtHomeDad and use the hashtag #AskFrank. Think of me as your bitchy gay Dear Daddy.

Question #1 (from @sardonnica):

What do you do when your son is bad but he makes you laugh?

A: We are huge proponents of humor in this house. We actually make jokes out of things like spankings (we don’t spank him, but rather we make fun of the whole idea — don’t ask). Sometimes this bites us in the ass when we really have to discipline him, so we try to be as creative as possible. That being said, when he is truly being rotten and then makes us laugh, we usually laugh too. My kid is downright hilarious, so this happens often. The second the laughter is done? Time out.

Question #2 (from @Ahhmandah):

If your kid is obnoxious in public and you’re too tired to do anything, is it OK for a stranger to tell it off?

A: Umm, hell motherfucking no. First of all, you are in charge of your child. If you are too tired, drink a coffee. I’ve been there, believe me, but I don’t let my kid get out of line. Have you heard the horror stories of kids getting slapped by strangers on planes because the parents did nothing? No, thank you. However, I was in a situation recently and had to step in. We were on a Disney Cruise and our son was playing nicely with another boy, who was probably three years older than him. They were in a shallow pool and being silly. I noticed that silly soon became aggressive. My son was clueless, but the other boy was dunking him under the water — and then started holding him under. Faster than Justin Bieber in his Lambo, I walked on water across that pool and screamed at that kid “Get off of him!” It obviously worked, and the whole pool stared and I didn’t give a shit. The parents were nowhere to be found, so it had to stop. Bottom line — your kids are your problems. If they become a nuisance, shut them down. Yourself.

Question #3 (from @HeelyRiddler):

How do explain to your son about the whole “we’re gay! You’re adopted!” sorta things?

A: Actually I addressed the “we’re gay!” in this article here.  As far as telling him he’s adopted, we have brought it up from time to time since he’s been born. We are very nonchalant about it, like when we are talking about our family, we ask him, “How many daddies do you have?” He replies with excitement “I have two!!!” And then we say something like “That’s right, and your daddies adopted you from your mommy, right?” He will say “Yes, I was adopted!” She is still part of his life, to a small degree (I will do an article about this specifically), and so he is familiar with her and is slowly figuring out what it means to be adopted. We have been told that as long as it not some big surprise when he is older, he will be as comfortable with everything as possible.

Question #4 (from @tayaland):

What do you do with a 5-year-old that ALWAYS wants to be naked? How do you encourage the body is beautiful but still private?

A: Umm, wow. I guess it’s harmless if it’s in private. If your child is stripping in public then you need to sit him/her down and tell them how dangerous that can be. Maybe come up with a special “clothes fairy” that will visit every night and put a nickel under their pillow if they keep their clothes on all day? That way it’s fun, and you get to create a little story. Good luck with that one! P.S.:  I'm kind of a clothes fairy myself.

 

FRANK LOWE is The Advocate’s parenting writer. Follow Frank on Twitter @GayAtHomeDad and on Instagram at gayathomedad.