By Frank Lowe
Originally published on Advocate.com March 14 2014 9:55 AM ET
Happy Friday, everybody! This is my weekly Q&A session from Twitter. Anyone can ask me a question in regard to parenting, and I will select a few and answer them here. To submit a question, tweet me @GayAtHomeDad and use the hashtag #AskFrank. Think of me as your bitchy gay Dear Daddy.
Question #1 (from @kenjimallon):
How did you get started with the adoption process and how did you decide to go that route?
A: Well, the decision came before the process. I’d like to say we did it because of the fact that there is a need and it felt like the right thing to do. In all honesty, it boiled down to money. It is upwards of $100,000 to do surrogacy, and while a child is priceless, a $30,000 adoption seemed much more appealing. Either way we knew we would end up with the child who was meant for us, so it really didn’t matter. To get started with the process, we did a lot of online research to find reputable adoption agencies and basically interviewed them until we found one we were comfortable with. From that point forward, it’s very invasive and the paperwork involved is monumental. Again, we kept our eye on the prize and it seems trivial now compared to what we received in return.
Question #2 (from @ruribeag):
What’s the hardest part of being the stay-at-home parent?
A: I am so glad someone asked me this. Honestly? Everything. I went from working a full-time job that I loved to having to be at home all the time. Let’s just say it gets really fucking boring. Actually, now that my little man is entering kindergarten this fall, I want to re-enter the workforce. I’m currently studying to become a Realtor! But I would have to say having too much time on your hands is not for everyone. Certainly has not been good for me.
Question #3 (from @BrandonMichaeI):
Did you always want to be a parent? If so, for how long, and if not, what made you change your mind?
A: When I met my spouse at the tender age of 21 (he was 23) we both said we wanted a family. Honestly, I had no idea what that meant, and it was the late 1990s, so the idea was almost unheard of. I definitely did want to be a parent, I just had no realization of what it entailed. As my 20s went on, I knew the timing wasn’t right, but when I hit 30, I (we) really got the parenting itch. It’s easily the best decision we’ve ever made.
Question #4 (from @DoggyStyle_212):
Do you allow your son to drink soda?
A: The short answer is HELL MOTHERFUCKING NO. The long answer is, not usually. When we go to Disney World, I give him Coke all day so he has the energy he needs to not fall asleep (it really works). At Christmastime, I’m a sucker for those glass bottle Cokes so he gets one or two. So maybe three, four days a year tops. Not bad considering I literally grew up on soda.
Question #5 (from @SISTERINDICA):
I have little to no patience for screaming kids. How do you deal with temper tantrums?
A: Three words: Noise-cancelling headphones.
FRANK LOWE is The Advocate’s parenting writer. Follow Frank on Twitter @GayAtHomeDad and on Instagram at gayathomedad.