By Frank Lowe
Originally published on Advocate.com April 10 2014 9:00 AM ET
I am writing you this letter now so hopefully when you’re an adult you will read this and it will have meaning. I want you to know that you are the most important thing in my life, and seeing you thrive each day makes me a proud dad. See, I realized when I was a teenager that I’m gay (as you well know by now). I didn’t know that I could have you. I always dreamed of having a family, but part of coming to terms with my sexuality meant that I might have to sacrifice that idea. I met your other dad when I was 21 and we discussed having kids within our first few dates. It still seemed surreal and unfathomable. You entered my life when I was 32, and looking back I still can’t believe it only took 11 years to make my dream come true.
You are 4½ years old now, and I’m starting to see what an amazing and dynamic personality you have. You light up the room when you enter. You draw people in with your magnetic charisma. Your smile is worth more than a trillion bucks. Those are things I can’t teach you, so it makes me thrilled to see they come naturally for you. You have an entire lifetime ahead of you, and I want you to have as many “gifts” as humanly possible.
No matter what happens in the future, know that I am always trying my best. I always put your needs above mine, and will drop anything I’m doing in a second if you need me. From the moment I held you on the first day you were born, I felt an instant connection with you that can only be described as the purest form of love that exists. You have taught me so many things about myself and life in general; you have permanently changed me for the better. I want to teach you everything I know, and how to have thick skin when it comes to other people. One day you will be out in this world, all by yourself, but I want you to know I am always with you.
We will face some different challenges since we are considered a “nontraditional family.” I hope you never resent me for making the decision to become a parent, as I feel that we can face those challenges head-on and come out stronger. Whatever you choose to do in life, or whoever you become, know that I support you. The only thing I want for you is happiness, son. Everything I did in my life prior to being your father has led up to this, and therefore you have made me more appreciative of my past. I love you, always and forever.
FRANK LOWE is The Advocate’s parenting writer. Follow Frank on Twitter @GayAtHomeDad and on Instagram at gayathomedad.