By Frank Lowe
Originally published on Advocate.com April 11 2014 11:00 AM ET
Happy Friday, everybody! This is my weekly Q&A session from Twitter. Anyone can ask me a question in regard to parenting, and I will select a few and answer them here. To submit a question, tweet me @GayAtHomeDad and use the hashtag #AskFrank. Think of me as your bitchy gay Dear Daddy.
Question #1 (from @emiemilemily):
What are your thoughts on the anti-vaccination movement?
A: As a parent, I completely understand wanting to do what’s best for your child. That being said, there simply isn’t enough actual data to support any negative claims. Trust me, I looked for it. I don’t necessarily think it’s wrong if a parent chooses not to vaccinate, I just think it means they are comfortable with the risks involved. Personally, I am not. I would much rather have my son vaccinated for these potentially deadly diseases than not, because of some circumstantial evidence.
Question #2 (from @Mr_Briman):
Do you feel pressure to work harder to prove your parenting abilities because you’re gay?
A: Yes and no. On one hand, I definitely feel that the pressure is there, no matter how I react to it. People do tend to look at us under a microscope, and that’s slightly unnerving. Fortunately, I’ve always had an IDGAF attitude, and this carries through to how people think I’m parenting my child. I know I’m doing a damn good job, so if people should question me, that’s their problem. I wouldn’t claim to be one of those “supermoms,” but I certainly am not trying to be. Oddly enough, I feel the most pressure from within the gay community. It’s as though they have a certain standard that I must adhere to because I’m a parent. It’s weird, and they need to get it over it.
Question #3 (from @evyflo):
How do you deal with Santa? Are you going tell him the truth or wait until he finds out?
A: You know, I’m really into the whole Santa thing, so we are going to stretch it out as long as possible. I guess that means that he will have to find out on his own. If he’s pissed, I’m going to be like “HOW DARE YOU BE PISSED, YOU HAVE BEEN GIVING CREDIT TO A FAT MAN FOR YEARS AND WE HAVE BEEN BUYING YOU ALL OF THE GIFTS!!” That should shut him up.
Question #4 (from @TheBanalGay):
Where should we say babies come from?
A: Umm, from vaginas. I’m sure as hell not going to say that men have babies by pushing them out their butts.
Question #5 (from @blue_bandgeek26):
How have you taught Briggs to deal with the bullying he may (hopefully not!) encounter in the future?
A: We really haven’t done much because we don’t want to start pointing out that we’re different, which could have him start to become defensive. We are going to wait until it happens, and then afterwards sit him down and coach him through it. We also want to enroll him in a self-defense class of some kind, so if it should come to fighting, he is amply prepared. Bottom line, we are going to keep the communication strong, which is the most important thing as it will help him become resilient.
FRANK LOWE is The Advocate’s parenting writer. Follow Frank on Twitter @GayAtHomeDad and on Instagram at gayathomedad.