By Frank Lowe
Originally published on Advocate.com April 25 2014 10:33 AM ET
Happy Friday, everybody! This is my Q&A session from Twitter. Anyone can ask me a question in regard to parenting, and I will select a few and answer them here. To submit a question, tweet me @GayAtHomeDad and use the hashtag #AskFrank. Think of me as your bitchy gay Dear Daddy.
Question #1 (from @StaceyKlim):
How do you maintain friendships after becoming a parent?
A: Oddly enough, having a child didn’t alter things too much for me. When we became parents, we had just moved to Connecticut a year prior, so all of my friends were either parents or becoming parents themselves. I still invited my “party friends” up to visit, and things were very toned down. My true friends are still my true friends. The only hard part was when I would talk with my friends who don’t have kids, because we didn’t have any of the same problems anymore. I wanted to bitch about changing diapers, and they wanted to bitch about changing boyfriends. All in all, I can’t complain because I gained the best friend in the world (my little guy).
Question #2 (from @MarcViens):
I’ve often thought of having kids; at 49 it seems too late. What kid wants the "old dad"? Thoughts?
A: Listen, I most certainly think age is just a number. I’m 37 now but don’t feel a day over 25. If you think you can take it on, by all means go for it. There is no shortage of kids who need loving homes, so if it is a dream of yours, make it happen. There are probably advantages and disadvantages, just like everything else in life. At 49, you are much more mature than a 25-year-old, so your child would most likely benefit from this. I’m a firm believer in “take on what you can handle.” Just stay on top of social media trends so you can monitor their activity when they hit the dreaded teen years.
Question #3 (from @stevenmarcu):
How often do you and your husband go out alone?
A: As often as we want! I will always appreciate a good babysitter, and fortunately we have a roster of them. Mind you, we don’t go out as much as we used to, but we are perfectly fine with that. It just takes more planning, so being spontaneous isn’t something we do often. Fortunately, our little man loves his all of his sitters, so he looks forward to having a night with them. It was a little different when he was a baby, but overall I would say having a child hasn’t affected our going out that much.
Question #4 (from @mathieuhodnett):
How did you know you were ready to be a parent?
A: That whole biological clock thing is REAL, man. I wouldn’t have believed it until it happened to me, but no joke, I woke up one day and was like “Oh, my God, we have to hustle if we want kids.” I always had the desire, but the motivation didn’t kick in until I was in my early 30s. I definitely don’t think there is such thing as “ready” to be a parent, as you could drive yourself crazy with unnecessary preparations. I was certainly mature enough and ready to move on with my life and start a new chapter.
Question #5 (from @WOLFKING97):
How do you stay so handsome?
A: Well. thank you very much, kind sir. All I have to say is start using skin creams and eye creams when you are in your teens. The rest is up to genes and maintaining a good fitness program! Also maintaining a positive outlook on life. Stress is ugly.
FRANK LOWE is The Advocate’s parenting writer. Follow Frank on Twitter @GayAtHomeDad and on Instagram at gayathomedad.