Ship to shore: Mediterranean cruise blog

"Attention Ship's Company ... Would Captain Stubing please report to the Spartan Leather Party on the Lido Deck Aft...and don't bring Vicki..." Dennis Hensley takes to the high seas with sister-company RSVP's 10-day Mediterranean Odyssey cruise.

BY Dennis Hensley

August 16 2007 11:00 PM ET

Day 1: "A penis a day"

Thursday, August 9, Rome

Greetings,
readers, from the Mediterranean Sea, somewhere between Rome
and Naples, Italy. My boyfriend John Michael and I joined
Holland American's Westerdam cruise ship today in
Civitevecchia, a port city near Rome, for RSVP's
10-day Med Odyssey cruise. I've had like four hours of
sleep in the last 48 hours and I'm loopy and exhausted like
Paula Abdul in virtually every episode of Hey
Paula.
So forgive my lapses into incoherency.

Though I used to
work as a cruise ship chorine in the early 90's, this is
only my second full-on gay cruise. I did another RSVP cruise
in the Caribbean in 1999. Cher's "Believe" was all the
rage. I wonder what the song of this cruise will be.
Hopefully, nothing by Nelly Furtado. I've had it with
her.

A few cabins down
from ours, someone has decorated their door with 12
cut-out pictures of Colt type models with little pieces of
paper taped over their privates that passersby are
invited to lift up and take in an eyeful. We've
decided to ration ourselves to one penis a day--like one of
those Christmas calendars where you one flap a day till
Christmas. There's a name for those calendars but I'm
too Paula-ed out to think of what it is.

Speaking of
Christmas gifts, the Italian guy who stamped our passports
at customs was unreal, like a bronze god with muscles
practically bursting from his uniform shirt. I thought
he might be plant from RSVP, positioned there to get
our trip off to a sexy start. He was literally like the hot
cop who shows up at the office and strips for secretary's
day.

While waiting for
our luggage, we met two of our fellow passengers, both
a bit older than us, who had done countless gay cruises. One
was very, very flirty. He winked and said, "What
happens on the RSVP cruise stays on the RSVP cruise."
So I guess that means if we end up accidentally
killing an underage hooker, we have a good chance of getting
away with it.

Tomorrow, we're
in Naples where we plan to visit the ancient ruins of
Pompeii, where Joan Collins reportedly attended middle
school. There are organized tours but we've decided to
make our own way with two new friends we met while
waiting to embark, John and Angel from Ft. Lauderdale.
This is a risky strategy, I know, but when it comes to
travelling, I tend to have more fun in a small group than
when I'm part of a big bus tour. Luckily, a journalist
friend of mine from Rome, Christian, is also on board
and he's going to get us to the train station. I hope
we don't end up lost like some dumbass team from The
Amazing Race
and leave Phil the host waiting at the
Pit Stop well into the night. That would be bad.

I'll let you know
how it goes. Tomorrow is another adventure...and
another penis revealed.

Tags: Travel

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