3. Gucci driving shoes (from $460)
Want him to giggle like a little schoolgirl? Nothing is more frivolous and simultaneously practical as a pair of Gucci drivers. Where style and comfort meets, these gems will make his summer wardrobe complete and have everybody at the PTA meetings staring. The only thing better than having a beautiful soul is having a beautiful sole.
4. Bose QuietComfort 15 Acoustic Noise Cancelling Headphones ($299.95)
Because let's face it, you are most likely loud as fuck and annoy the hell out of him. With or without music, these babies work like a charm to block out all that craziness. Sure, they're not as popular as Beats, but he won't care once he gives these a whirl. These are truly considered the best in the category — you just put them on and blissfully tune out the world. Bye, Felicia.
5. Bonobos Slim Straight Premium Denim (from $145)
Here's a product literally made for gay dads — these are the antithesis of "dad jeans" and the description contains both the words "slim" and "straight." These are American made and built to last. To look like the extra cool kid, remind him to rarely wash them, and when he does, turn them inside out first to retain the broken-in effect. In no time these will be his favorite jeans because everyone will compliment his ass.
6. Grey Goose vodka (approx. $30/bottle)
Save the scotch for your straight dad, and give gay daddy exactly what he wants. Give this to him early in the morning to ensure a happy, fun day. That being said, don't stick around for evening when the Goose wears off and he realizes that was all you gave him. If you really want to make him happy, buy him all five of the flavors and have a "Goose sampling." And yes, I insist this is the best brand of vodka despite what anyone else tells you. Grey Goose gets the bae loose.