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How to Tell Your Parents You’re Gay

OLTL’s Scott Evans and his mom, Lisa, talk about life in front of and behind the camera as Fish’s coming-out story heads toward telling his folks!

Scott Evans Lisa Evans x390 (courtesy) | ADVOCATE.COM

How do you tell your parents you’re gay? That has been the controversial question that landed One Life to Live in the mainstream press recently. Patricia Mauceri (ex-Carlotta) was fired from the show over her self-proclaimed “religious beliefs” for refusing to perform in scenes where Carlotta found a book she thought was her on-screen son Cristian’s, titled How to Tell Your Parents You’re Gay. Mauceri’s objection seemed to be that a Latina mother would never be accepting of her son’s homosexuality. However, that book actually belongs to Officer Oliver Fish, played by Scott Evans! You see, Fish recently came out to roomies Layla and Cristian, and yes, he was trying to date Layla as well to deflect his internal struggle with coming out. Now it’s Fish’s turn to tell his parents he’s gay! In a series of highly anticipated episodes beginning next week, Fish’s parents, Barbara and George Fish, come to Llanview to visit their son. In a sensational twist on “stunt” casting, Scott Evans’s real-life mom, Lisa Evans, was cast as Fish’s straitlaced, uptight mom ... a far cry from Lisa and her liberal views.

In this Advocate.com exclusive Scott and Lisa Evans open up about their real-life mother-son relationship and Scott’s difficulties with coming out to his family, including his brother, movie heartthrob Chris Evans. The two also preview Fish and Barbara’s heart-tugging emotional scenes. Lisa is known to most of Scott’s friends as “Mom,” so she let me call her just that during our interview. The following is a must-read for all mothers and their gay sons.


Mom, how did you end up playing the role of Barbara Fish?
Lisa:
I was visiting New York with some girlfriends and Scott invited me to see the One Life to Live studio where he worked. We also have another close family friend who worked on the show, and he was working that day, also. So I went up to the executive producer, Frank Valentini, who happened to be there that day and we talked for a little bit. A few days later Scott called me and told me that the executive producer called him to ask if I wanted to do the show! And it was that simple.

Had you acted before?
Lisa: I acted in college and in high school, and I run a children’s theater now.

The talent gene runs in the family. Both your sons, Chris and Scott, are very talented!
Lisa: I have talented sons and daughters, and all the children who come through my theater program are very talented.

Scott, how was it having Mom on the set?
Scott:
Once we were on the set, it was fantastic. The days leading up to it, I was panicking with excitement and my nerves were going crazy. She got there and I went to her hotel room the night before and we were running lines. It was fun because we were laughing, and my mother is the polar opposite of Barbara Fish. So just hearing some of the words coming out of her mouth was pretty fantastic.

So no mother-son real-life family fights during the rehearsal process?
Scott:
The hardest part was my mom separating the fact that I am not actually sad in these scenes. So, if she sees me cry in the scenes, she is not supposed to cry in these scenes as Barbara. But, as my mother, I could see her wanting to cry. She said to me, “I can’t keep the tears in if you are going to start crying.” It was great. The first scenes she was doing were not with me. I was watching and it was the closest thing I felt to being a proud parent. It must have been like how she felt about her children when she watched us onstage while we were growing up. It was cool to experience that.

What can you tell me about Barbara Fish and her stance on gays in the pivotal episodes?
Lisa: Poor Barbara. Barbara is from the Midwest. I think she has led a very sheltered life, and she is very religious and from a very conservative upbringing. However, she adores her son. Now, she is faced with this, and she has this husband who is a former policeman, very conservative and a little bit tempered and a little bit heated. I think she is trying to figure it out between the two of them. She is really torn. She wants to understand what is going on with her son. She wants to be close to him, but she just can’t because it’s not who she is. She wears a sweater set, for crying out loud!

You would never dress like her, right?
Lisa: It was funny. The wardrobe department called and asked me if I had anything in my closet that would work and I started to laugh ...
Scott: I have been hearing about the sweater set since we started ... it was not like, “What were you doing on set?” It was, “I have to wear a sweater set. For God's sake ... ”
Lisa: It is so not me. I am from Massachusetts, please.

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Reader Comments
  • Name: Derek Burks
    Date posted: 9/14/2009 12:57:35 PM
    Hometown: Spokane, WA

    Comment:

    Good decision with the One Life to Live producers firing the actress for her discrimination, which within other employment is just as bad and goes against equal opportunity employment. Also, why is it that when some GLBT people come out, their family/friends say things like, "Oh I've always known." My suggestion would be, if you've always known, why did you pretend that it wasn't true or never say anything about it? They may claim to not have wanted to make the GLBT individual uncomfortable, but quite the opposite happens. It makes GLBT individuals MORE uncomfortable long-term because they've never had the acceptance from family/friends, who denied it right alongside of the individual. Rather than the individual being expected to "come out," his oer her family and friends may want to think about "coming to" the individual and not leaving all of the difficult responsibilities on them.

  • Name: jim thear
    Date posted: 9/13/2009 8:08:26 PM
    Hometown: palm beach , florida

    Comment:

    I have been a fan of One Life for Years. Their previous storylines involving gays were not done very well. Please do not blow this story line. I am male and I am an actor and I also work for a police department..I have been married and betrayed and now I have met a wonderful man...I am gradually introducing him to my friends at the Department who had no idea I was now with a man. They are pretty cool with it...I usually catch an episode of One Life once a week but now I watch daily to see how this storyline goes..Great so far...keep it up and keep Scott on the show..His storyline is representative of alot of us . He is very credible as Fish ... Please keep this storyline on the show and dont let it fissle out. It wasso very hard to come out to people who are usually not receptive to gays or bi-sexuals so this story needs to be told. Wish I could be part of this One Life Crew but I am in Florida . Great job guys..Keep it up !!!!

  • Name: Damian
    Date posted: 9/13/2009 2:11:37 AM
    Hometown: Fort Wayne

    Comment:

    Great article. Read it all. Hugh Fivers

  • Name: Mark
    Date posted: 9/12/2009 5:28:00 PM
    Hometown: Pittsburgh

    Comment:

    Great article and what a great mother Scott has. Truly inspirational. At least "One Life To Live" has the balls to tackle a gay love story, and do it realistically. The soap i watch, "The Young and the Restless," can learn a thing or two about penning a gay storyline. The producers promised us months ago a gay story and we have yet to see any such thing. It's sister show, "The Bold and the Beautiful," is no better. After 22 years on the air, this soap is set in LA's fashion industry and has NEVER had a gay character on its canvas all this time. How pathetic! I am now tempted to start taping OLTL so i can see how Fish and Kyle's love story plays out. Let CBS take note of this. If anything, "Guiding Light's" cancellation is proof that viewers are growing tired of the medium and the only way to hang on to their existing viewers and to lure in new ones is by telling good ole fashion love stories that appeal to EVERYONE.

  • Name: Tyson
    Date posted: 9/11/2009 11:02:54 AM
    Hometown: Detroit

    Comment:

    Mr. Scott Roberts, being anti-Gay is not the same as being a racist, homosexuals are not their own race.

  • Name: Tyson
    Date posted: 9/11/2009 11:02:20 AM
    Hometown: Detroit

    Comment:

    Mr. Scott Roberts, being anti-Gay is not the same as being a racist, homosexuals are not their own race.

  • Name: Alex
    Date posted: 9/10/2009 11:58:09 PM
    Hometown: Hollywood,FL

    Comment:

    I really enjoyed this article. It made me laugh. I went through the same thing telling my mom, family and friends. I remember being so scared to tell him. So when I finally worked up the courage we were at our favorite hangout. I took him outside and after him beating it out of me, his reaction was dude our beers are getting warm. He never flinched. My other friend is the definition of redneck cowboy. They just don't fit into the gay life at all. He was the one that made me cry. He actually said" I loved you as a friend before you came out and I will love you more that you are out". No straight man says that to someone who just came out. LOL!! I went through and had the same experiences that were talked about in the above article. I hope and pray that soon everyone will be able to come out to their friends and families without having any backlash. I want to thank you for writing such a wonderful and beautiful article.

  • Name: scott roberts
    Date posted: 9/10/2009 9:21:52 PM
    Hometown: saratoga springs

    Comment:

    I am so disappointed by the moron who used to play Carlotta Vega. I always enjoyed her on oltl. To find that she is an ignorent rascist is very disturbing. I am very glad to see that trash like that has been fired from the show before she can spread anymore of her poison.

  • Name: James
    Date posted: 9/10/2009 8:13:24 PM
    Hometown: New York

    Comment:

    C'mon, folks. Focusing on the single word "lifestyle" in this terrific interview with Lisa and Scott Evans is prime example of one losing sight of the forest for the trees. Mrs. Evans is terrific and inspiring for being so loving and accepting of Scott. I wish I had a mother like Mrs. Evans, who is so open-minded and accepting of her son's sexual orientation.

  • Name: James
    Date posted: 9/10/2009 5:42:27 PM
    Hometown: New York

    Comment:

    C'mon, folks. Focusing on the single word "lifestyle" in this terrific interview with Lisa and Scott Evans is prime example of one losing sight of the forest for the trees. Mrs. Evans is terrific and inspiring for being so loving and accepting of Scott. I wish I had a mother like Mrs. Evans, who is so open-minded and accepting of her son's sexual orientation.

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