Broad Appeal

Speaking of big celebrities, your new play, The Third
Story, costars Kathleen Turner. So is this the
first time that you’ve starred opposite another
man in drag? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Aww, be nice now! I’m crazy about
Kathleen Turner. She’s a big, ballsy, brash
gal, and I’m having a ball with her. I think
she’s also having a very good time. She
hasn’t been in an off-Broadway show since early on in
her career, so she’s roughing it a bit. I may be a
lady, but I’m also a gentleman, so I gave her
the private dressing room -- and the last bow too.

How’d you get her for the role? We’d done the play at La Jolla Playhouse
last year with Mary Beth Peil in the same role, but
I’d done a big rewrite that really changed the whole
character: She had been an elegant, ladylike mother, but it
seemed to suit the play more if she was this
garrulous, hard-drinking dame -- which is just not
Mary Beth Peil. Bernie Telsey, one of the producers, is also
a major casting director. Kathleen had approached Bernie
about another play that she was interested in doing,
and he said, “Would you consider working
off-Broadway?” She said, “Yeah!” So he
sent her my play. When he mentioned Kathleen Turner to
me I thought, Oh, it’s a nice idea, but
she’ll never do it. I do sometimes go to the
negative place. But she wanted to meet with me and Carl
Andress, the director. So we went over to her
apartment -- which has this extraordinary view of the
Hudson River -- and she had the play laid out on the
dining room table. We sat down on either side of her, and
she said in that lethal baritone, “Boys, I am
intrigued, but not hooked.” So I laid all the
jewels on the table: I said, “It ain’t much
money, but we’ll treat you with the respect
that hasn’t been seen since the days of
Bernhardt and Duse.” I think she liked that. When we
left I told Carl, “Man, she has some poker
face, because I could not tell you which way
she’s going to go.” The next day, though, she
said yes.

What’s your favorite Kathleen Turner film? I haven’t seen it in years, but I loved
Prizzi’s Honor. That was a wonderful
movie. She really did have a great stretch of
first-rate movies. I read somewhere that the average life of
a glamorous movie actress is five years, so
she’s been very smart about extending her
career by taking challenging roles in the theater.

You’re both 54. Have you bonded over your age? No, but I’m glad that I’m not the
oldest person in the room. Lately, that’s been
happening to me, and I don’t much care for it.

The New York Timesrecently ran a picture of the two of you laughing
and drinking together at a cast party. I loved it, but
the fabulous chenille toque hat that you wore threatened
to upstage Miss Turner! When you don’t have that much hair, hats
become very important. My life has always been a
search for the perfect hat. I’ve got so many hats
sitting in my closet that I never wear, because I’ll
say, “Well, this isn’t really a
woman’s hat. It’s not gender-specific.”
Then I buy it, wear it, and realize I look like
somebody’s Aunt Sheila. The secret is that when
you do find a good hat, you’ve got to buy two of
them. I’ve lost more hats in taxis --
it’s almost like losing a child.