Laws are targeting my daughter's right to exist

Fear shouldn't be the cost of being yourself. But for autistic trans people, it increasingly is. Laws and policies are targeting their autonomy, healthcare, and right to exist.

I want to share my autistic transgender daughter's story, with her full permission. She wants people to understand what's truly at stake. In her words, "It's not some abstract issue. This is about whether I get to live my life." When my daughter came out as transgender at age 25, she told me that before transitioning, she didn't see herself living past the age of 30. Of everything she shared at that moment, that's the one statement I'll never forget. Before the transition, she hadn't felt that her life was worth living.

After transitioning, everything shifted. My daughter found hope, felt joy, and had the energy to connect with new friends. She began making plans for her future. But that hope is in jeopardy. It depends on her continued access to gender-affirming care. And suppose insurance no longer covers her care due to future state or federal policy shifts. In that case, she may not be able to access the hormones that allow her to live as herself. If that happens, I fear she could return to believing life is not worth living.

This isn't a far-fetched scenario.

The recent Supreme Court decision, United States v. Skrmetti, upheld Tennessee's ban on gender-affirming care for minors. Twenty-four other states have passed similar legislation. Though Congress ultimately passed a federal budget without banning Medicaid coverage for gender-affirming care for all ages, the threat hasn't disappeared. It's just moved.

From statehouses to courthouses, gender-affirming care is under attack. This trend is further reinforced by a Department of Health and Human Services report that questions the legitimacy of this care, particularly for autistic people, and promotes "exploratory therapy."

This "therapy" assumes that transgender people need to be guided back to the gender assigned at birth. Though rebranded as neutral, it resembles long-debunked conversion therapy. Leading medical associations have called it harmful, unethical, and ineffective.

A 2024 study in Lancet Psychiatry found it increases risks of depression, PTSD, and suicidal ideation. These methods do not safeguard anyone. They harm the very people they claim to help. Research shows that people who do not identify with the sex they were assigned at birth are three to six times as likely to be autistic. These individuals already face higher rates of anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Not because of who they are, but because of how they are treated. Denying them gender-affirming care doesn't protect them. It puts them in danger, with40% of transgender adults attempting suicide in their lifetimes..

And yet, policymakers continue to advance proposals that treat trans identities as invalid, trans decisions as uninformed, and trans lives as expendable.

We've heard false narratives suggesting that autistic people are "too confused" or "too impaired" to understand their gender identities. That's not only insulting, but it's also dangerous. My daughter knows exactly who she is. So do thousands of autistic trans people across this country. Their clarity should not be questioned just because they are neurodivergent.

I don't want to mourn the future my daughter finally believed she could have. I want her to live it.

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