As MTV's mainstay
reality show The Real World relocates to Denver
for its 18th season (premiering November 22), The
Advocate checks in with its latest gay cast
member, 23-year-old Davis from Marietta, Ga. While a gay or
lesbian character is a staple archetype in almost
every season of the show, Davis wants the world to
know he is no ordinary reality show fag. We caught up
with him vacationing with his boyfriend in sunny Buenos
Aires to let him explain in his own words his feelings
about homosexuality, conservative Christianity,
reality TV typecasting, and what it feels like to come out
to your grandmother.
What are you doing in Buenos Aires? One of my really good friends is down here.
Actually, it1s my boyfriend. He's studying down
here, and so I'm down here visiting him.
Having seen previous seasons of The Real World,
which usually feature one gay or lesbian cast
member, did you feel like you were "the gay one"?
Did that matter to you? I feel like they always have...not always, but a
lot of times there's a gay character. And I had to do
a lot of talking to myself, like, Am I only cast for this
show because I'm gay? But there are tons of
gay people who try out every season for this show, so
obviously there must be something different about me from
the rest of them. In life, I'm a real straight-acting
kind of gay guy. I'm in a fraternity, I've barely been
to any gay bars. I hardly even went when I was in
Denver. Most of my friends, if not all of them, are
straight. I have a few gay friends. And so, for me, I
thought maybe I was being cast for being more like the
"straight gay guy." They hadn't really cast a ton of
those before. But I didn't want to have to come in and,
like, come out immediately to everyone. 'Cause I felt like
the guys would immediately label me as "the gay
character." And I just came out a year ago. So it was
kinda tough, coming in knowing that people are gonna
expect someone to be gay, and fingers might be pointed at
me, and what are they gonna think? And are they gonna
still be my friends? That sort of stuff was going
through my head.
So you were not out in the house immediately upon
arriving there. No. I mean, I didn't come in and be like,
"I1m gay!" It took some time. Unfortunately,
because this is a show that usually has a gay
character, people were asking, "Is there somebody gay?" And
I wasn't gonna lie and be like, "Oh, I1m not,"
and then tell everyone a month later. So if I was ever
confronted, I did [come out], but it wasn't all, like,
[from] day one.
What was the response from the other housemates? The girls had no issues. In fact, one of them
was craving a gay character. Some of the guys had
issues with it, homophobic issues. I mean, that1s
probably why they were chosen. I'm from a really strong
Christian family, so we had a lot of talks about, like, "Is
this a choice?" And, what are my views about, you
know, if you condemn drinking in the Bible, how is
that any different from condemning being gay in the
Bible, when my Christian friends are drinking, you know? So
it was things like that. One of my favorite persons in
the house is one of the guys, and we have become
really good friends because of it. So I don't feel
like it was a typical "gay guy that only is friends with
girls" scenario.
Talk about your upbringing in Marietta. I'm from a really strong Baptist family. My
grandfather is a pastor. My dad and my mom met as
youth group leaders. And my parents are both Sunday
school teachers on the weekends. I used to work at a
Christian bookstore in high school, as well as I went
on choir tours and mission tours for spring break.The
whole shebang. I was at church most of the days of the
week. I was a really, really, really, really, really strong
Christian in high school. ButI knew I was gay from
about the time I hit puberty, and it was always a
struggle for me because I felt like, This is so wrong.
I'm going to hell. Like, Am I even a
Christian? I was always dealing with that. You
remember that movie with Mandy Moore about Christianity?
Saved. I grew up in that environment. So many people
from my high school went to church. If someone was
caught smoking on the weekend, oh, my God, they were
ousted from our friendship. I was so afraid that if anyone
found out that I was gay, I would be kicked out of the
group. And I was popular in high school for the fact
that I was a church kid and really, you know, good.
ButI knew I was gay. So it was a really tough environment to
grow up in, because you worry a lot about what people
are gonna think about you.
So when did you actually come out? I came out a year ago this past summer. I went
to Florida for college, to try to get away from the
conservative South, and I thought, Florida1s more
liberal-minded, and it was. I went to a small
Baptist school that had lost its affiliation 10 years ago,
so it wasn't really clinging to that anymore. And
there weren't really any gay people at my school that
were out, really. It was a really small school. But I
got really confident in who I was, in the sense that I was
popular, I had a lot of friends, everyone liked me. I was at
a point where I could tell people I was gay and I
wouldn't lose any friends, and it happened. I had true
friendships that weren't based about religion and
judgmental things; they were just about people liking each
other. And when I came out, it was a really positive
experience, and I got more popular because of it. And
I got more confident in the fact that being gay isn't
such a horrible thing. And I actually tried out for the show
from all this positive feedback I was getting from my
friends. 'Cause I was like, Wow, you know, this
isn't as awful as I thought it was. For some
people, this show is actually gonna make me come out
to them. A lot of my friends from high school don't know
about it yet.
When you came out, was it just to your family and
close friends? When I came out, it was just to my friends. And
then, as I got accepted for this show, I made a list
of about 25 people from home who wouldn1t have
heard through the rumor mill going around in college, and I
called them up one by one and just told them. And I
got really great feedback from my Christian friends.
The next thing you know, it was like, Wow, my
Christian friends aren1t really responding the same
way I thought they would. They were like,
3I love you, Davis. This is an issue I1m
starting to change my mind about, and maybe I don1t
think that it1s a choice. Maybe I don1t
think it1s condemnable to hell,2 and all these
sort of things that I was afraid I would be getting
when I was in high school. My brother had known for a
couple years; he1d overheard me and my mom
fighting about it, and that1s how he found out. And I
told my mom and dad when I was in early high school,
late middle school.
It's good that you took such positive steps to let
your loved ones know before going on the show. I didn1t want anyone like my really close
family to have to find out on TV, so I told them all.
I even told my grandmother before I came on the show.
How was that? She comes from an older time. She1s not as
religious as my parents are, so she wasn1t having
issues with, like, "Oh, no, you1re going to go to
hell." But she was like, "You1re never gonna get a job.
People aren1t going to respect you. People make
fun of gay people." That was sort of her thing.
What do you think will be the general reaction of
your community when you go back to Marietta? I don't know. I have gotten to the point in my
life where I just want to be happy. I want to be in a
relationship with a guy because that makes me happy,
and I want to just be proud of who I am and not ashamed of
anything anymore. I don't really care what my friends from
my school who may not be my friends anymore think.
What can you tell us about your relationship? We've been dating now for nine months. We
actually went to high school together. We're from
neighborhoods just down the street from each other.
He's really into baseball, he's in a fraternity. He's sort
of a guy's guy. I knew him in high school but not
knowing he was gay, and I think the same thing went
for him with me. So we were hanging out over Christmas
break, someone mentioned to him that I was gay and thought
we should hang out. I guess he'd come out to one
friend, and that friend set us up. And then,through
the process, he's actually gotten more confident and
proud of who he is, and he started to come out to lots of
people, and this show will be a similar experience for
him, in that a lot of his friends from college and
high school don't know that he's gay. But he made an
appearance [on the show], so it'll be an experience for him.
We'll be going through it together.
Since you're about to be thrust into the public
eye, do you see yourself as becoming a kind of role
model or 'gay icon'? Well, I don't have aspirations of being a gay
icon or gay role model. I think I did at one point in
time, when I was trying out for the show. I thought
that would be really cool. Right now...I mean, if it
happens, that1s awesome. I've always thought
about talking to people that are struggling with
religious families [and who] are having a hard time
coming out. I have a friend in college who works with
runaways, and a lot of runaways are homosexual kids
who run away from their families because they1re
afraid to come out. And I thought this would be a great
experience for me to maybe...I don't know. I want to do
something with it positive.
You've seen Danny Roberts from The Real World: New
Orleans, and how he1s made a career out
of speaking up. Do you see yourself doing anything like that? I'd love to. I'm a little young to watch
Danny1s season, I didn't ever catch any of it.
but I've heard a lot about him. People have compared me
to him. But whatever he1s doing, I1d love to
follow in his footsteps. Making people feel more
confident and not ashamed about their sexuality, and
if they've been in a place where people have really said
negative things to them about it, like I have [been],
I would love to be able to speak to them. I just
think, once you come to terms with your sexuality,
once you come out of the closet, it's an amazing experience.
It's like a new day for you. This is day one for me
for the rest of my life. I would love to be able to
talk to people about that experience and make them
feel more confident.