Coke caves to Donald the Dextrose Dictator. Is McDonald’s next?

In yet another surreal flex of flabby authoritarianism, morbidly obese Donald Trump seems to have pressured Coca-Cola to change its American recipe and replace high-fructose corn syrup with cane sugar. In an earnings call Tuesday, the spineless folks at Coke confirmed they had capitulated to the Dextrose Dictator’s demands.

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Let’s be very, very clear about this switch. It’s not a health initiative. It’s not environmental. It’s not for the good of the consumer. No, it’s just Trump’s personal preference. This recommendation is from a 79-year-old man with circulation issues who guzzles soft drinks down like, well, an old man with health issues who doesn’t give a shit about the consequences.

But that’s not the worst thing about this, because once again, a major American company seems to have caved to the demonic Donald.

Sure, it's easy to laugh..“King Trump wants his Coke sweeter!” But the consequences of corporate America’s continued capitulation to Trump’s whims are no joke. They’re dangerous for a democracy that continues to be shredded each day. It’s astonishing that companies and institutions, who should operate independently, are giving in rapidly to one man’s ego and appetite.

Paramount Global, owner of CBS and 60 Minutes, this month agreed to a $16 million settlement, part of which would go toward Trump’s future presidential library. This was to resolve Trump’s lawsuit alleging deceptively edited coverage of a 2024 interview with Kamala Harris, a claim widely deemed baseless by First Amendment scholars.

The concession came amid Paramount’s pursuit of Federal Communications Commission approval of a merger with Skydance Media, prompting criticism from 60 Minutes journalists, some of whom resigned, and concerns from media watchdogs and senators over press freedom and potential pay‑to‑play optics.

ABC News wasn’t far behind. The network’s quiet settlement with Trump over George Stephanopoulos’s comment on the verdict in E. Jean Carroll's sexual abuse lawsuit is nothing short of an embarrassment.

Universities are folding too. Trump has threatened to strip federal funding from schools that don’t meet his political litmus test, and rather than push back, many are preemptively erasing diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives, restructuring programs, and retreating from academic independence. Harvard, Yale, and others have come under scrutiny, and few are resisting. It’s not about policy anymore — it’s about fear.

Major law firms are also kowtowing. Trump has leaned on big firms to stop representing clients deemed “anti-Trump,” offering obscenely inflated “pro bono” deals to those who play ball. Hopefully, the Democrats take over the House in 2026, so that they can screw the firms that blindly said “Yes, Master” to Trump..

And nothing has been more blatant than the nationwide dismantling of corporate diversity programs. In Fortune 500 companies and the biggest brands, DEI departments are being shut down or “rebranded” under pressure. Not because they’re ineffective — to the contrary, they are — but because Trump doesn’t like them. The American business community, once considered a moderating force, is now afraid of its own customer base, or more precisely, afraid of one customer in particular. Guess who?

Now he’s coming for your Coke.

And that Coke? It’s poison. I have a friend, a nutritionist, who practically screams when she sees me sipping a Diet Coke: “You are drinking poison!” she says — constantly. She’s not wrong. There’s little difference between cane sugar and high-fructose corn syrup, but Trump’s obsession with Coke (he drinks the diet version to excess) is part of his junk-food worldview.

He famously adores McDonald’s, especially the Quarter Pounder With Cheese. But here’s the irony — that burger, after it’s cooked, weighs only 2.8 ounces. Will Trump now demand that McDonald’s actually serve him a full quarter-pound of beef?

Will Ronald McDonald be summoned to Mar-a-Lago? Because just like the Coke demand, this has nothing to do with nutrition. It's all about indulgence and control. And in case you're interested, my nutritionist friend says eating McDonald's, like Trump does, “will give you the gift of a massive heart attack.” So take that with a grain of salt. Oops, another thing that pisses off my friend.

Of course, the White House spin machine is now pretending Trump and his Health and Human Services secretary, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., are on a phony mission to “Make America Healthy Again.” But that’s a lie as big as Trump’s ankles.

Kennedy’s report on public health was riddled with errors and disinformation, particularly around vaccines and medical research. Even Kennedy, once a crusader for environmental health, has joined the MAGA cult of capitulation. Want proof? He criticized Trump’s diet, yet he was pictured eating Trump’s atrocious diet with Trump.

The message? Nutrition is for losers.

And that message matters. America is facing an obesity epidemic. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, over 40 percent of U.S. adults are now obese, including its wannabe dictator. And that is a number that continues to rise. Rather than tackling this crisis, the Trump White House is modeling gluttony, indulgence, and cankles, all while forcing companies to cater to those cankles.

Meanwhile, Trump continues to act like a brand ambassador for Coke, Tesla, and McDonald's. He touted Elon Musk’s cars on the White House lawn and has hinted at policy rewards for businesses that stroke his ego. It’s pay-to-play, but in reverse. Now it's praise-to-survive.

Because in Trump’s America, if you don’t think like him, eat like him, or bend to him, you’re a “loser.” I’ve written before about how Americans, in my opinion, are becoming more selfish in their emulation of Trump. Now he’s encouraging us to be unhealthier too. To ignore science, to ignore our bodies, to ignore the very real consequences of our choices.

So yes, the Coke story is absurd. But beneath the bubbles is something as dark as a Coke. It’s a nation of institutions, media, law, education, even food companie, bending to the whims of a deeply unhealthy man with deeply unhealthy power.

And we’re all being force-fed the consequences.

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