#27BiStories: Tell Us Something We Don't Know

We asked 27 bisexuals to tell us something about their relationship and sexuality that they'd like the general public to understand.



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What is something you want the general public to know about your relationship and about your sexuality?

Brian, 45, Nebraska: For me, the biggest thing that I want people to know is that I am not half gay/half straight. I am 100 percent bisexual. My attraction to someone is not defined solely by their gender. My relationship with my wife is so very special to me and fulfills me in so may ways, but I now know that her gender has very little to do with my attraction to her. I can find myself attracted to men, attracted to women, or even attracted to other genders, but through it all, I remain attracted to my wife because of who she is inside, the way she cares for me, and the passion she has for life. All those things are what attracted me to her in the first place and continue to do so after 20 years together.

James, 32, New Jersey: Dear general public, it is not your job to know about, to understand, or to accept my relationship. It is your job, however, to keep your eyes to yourself. Pay attention to the relationship you are in — the person or people you are with. 

Calvin, 30, North Carolina: Do not judge or assume the relationships you see, and when you learn more, continue to resist that judgment. Every relationship is unique for the people in it, what it means to them, how it defines them, and how their own identities shape that relationship in turn: These are not transferable from one relationship to the next.

Heather, 29, North Carolina: My sexuality, though a part of me, does not define me. I’m not a stereotype. We aren’t stereotypes. We’re completely unique and individual.

Denise, 43, New Jersey: Both my marriage and my sexuality are as legitimate as yours. I've been an out, stable bisexual for almost two decades. My husband has never been anything else. I've been with my husband, in one way or another, for almost a decade. Sexuality is complicated. You serve no one by trying to oversimplify it. Bisexuality isn't always a transitional stage. Lesbian was my transitional stage. And for the love of all that is holy, please stop defining other people's sexual orientation and gender identity. I don't care what the genesis of words are. Stop, listen, and respect. You lose nothing by accepting and respecting someone else.