New Orleans
evacuees split from Minnesota lesbian couple

Barely a month after a Montevideo, Minn., family opened their home to a family of Hurricane Katrina evacuees from Louisiana, there's been a painful parting. Tracey and Tanya Thornbury were stunned by the plight of people displaced by the disaster, so the lesbian couple and their three children, who are all white, opened their home to an impoverished three-generation black family. The Singletons--a mother, grandmother, and six children who had never left the South before--arrived in September to a warm welcome in the western Minnesota city of 5,300 residents. ABC's Good Morning America did a segment on the blended families. But good intentions weren't enough to bridge the families' different backgrounds or overcome the strain of having 13 people under one roof. Nicole and Dorothy (Dot) Singleton, the mother and grandmother, have now broken ties with their hosts and moved to the Twin Cities. But the families talk by phone and hope they can forge a new relationship despite a messy end to their old one. "We still love each other. You can have a family feud and still love each other," said Tracey Thornbury, 38, a trucker who still calls the Singleton kids frequently from the road. Dot, 52, the grandmother, said she holds no grudges against the Thornburys. "They've done a lot for us," she said. "They brought us out of poverty. But it was two different cultures. We just didn't click." Tracey drove to Baton Rouge to pick up Dot and the children in September. She saw immediately that they came from different worlds. As she drove north, she learned that the Singletons had never been outside Louisiana. At one point, Esaw Singleton, 11, asked about the furry animal in a field they had just passed. Turns out it was a cow. They got along at first. Montevideo rallied around the families with donations and affection. But goodwill gave way to tension. About a week after the Singleton kids arrived, there was a dispute over Tanya's computer. Two girls wanted to use it to download hip-hop and rap music from the Internet to make up for the lack of it on local radio. Tanya said no, partly to protect her computer from viruses and partly to preserve what was left of her private space. There were also charges that the Singletons weren't doing their fair share of chores and clashes over what kinds of movies the kids could watch. Letters came from Nicole's boyfriend, who was in a Louisiana jail for burglary. The Thornburys feared he would get out on parole and come to Montevideo, so they read the letters. On October 5, Nicole left for the Twin Cities. She's living at a Roseville motel and working as a housekeeper at another area hotel. Dot stayed behind with the kids in Montevideo. On October 16, they got into an argument. Tracey thought Dot was implying that the Thornburys weren't sharing the money that had been donated. The women acknowledge that they yelled at each other, that Dot had been drinking, and that Dot encouraged 16-year-old Brittany to begin hitting Tracey. Tracey got Brittany under control, then searched Dot's room. She found an odd-shaped cigarette, thought it was marijuana, and called police. Officers determined it was a regular cigarette. Dot said the domestic violence was the result of strain. "It just had got to that point. And the devil, he just got in there between everybody with a match and set things off," she said. When it was time to leave with the kids, Dot asked Chippewa County Family Services to assist. They arrived in the Twin Cities on October 28 after Nicole found a Twin Cities church offering a Minneapolis house rent-free for a year to hurricane survivors. The kids, she said, are settling in and attending school. The family plans to stay in Minnesota. Dot said she misses Montevideo and appreciates how much the town did for her and the Thornburys. She said their decision to leave had nothing to do with the fact that few black people live in the area. Tracey and Tanya still hope to celebrate Thanksgiving with the Singletons. They don't regret trying to help, though they said they wouldn't open their home in the same way to others. "I'm not sure what God is thinking about at this point," Tracey said. "If it had any positive effect on the kids that they will remember at some point, that's a good thing. They'll know there are people who care." (AP)