Last month, a conservative congressional staffer asserted that all porn is gay, and now The Onion seems to be responding to his outrageous claim with a joke that may leave some people feeling burned. According to the satirical news source, "It's gay to smoke."
"We're saying, if you choose to smoke, people are going to make fun of you for looking like a queer," says "Dr. Michael Gaines," an official from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention who appears on the Onion News Network to discuss the new campaign.
One fake ad features high school boys who meet furtively in the hallway, then sneak to the restroom. "Are they smoking? Or are they gay?" asks the ad.
Dr. Gaines explains that the new federal effort will also extend to cigarette packaging, and that seat belts and alcohol are the next targets of the campaign.