Michael Musto: Dish Warmed Over

Celebrating the release of his new book Fork on the Left, Knife in the Back, the bridge-burning blogger and baron of blind items blabs about his hard-earned position as both historian and spokesman for the gay community.



MICHAEL MUSTO 3 X390  | ADVOCATE.COM Rosie famously called you “a gay Nazi,” but you didn’t seem to receive much flak from the gay community about your outing. Meanwhile, Perez Hilton has been crucified for that kind of behavior, but, comparatively, you were largely given a pass. Why is that?
I don’t know. That’s a good question. The celebrities were not happy — incidentally, I’ve never been sued and I never got a call from any of their publicists asking them to lay off — but I think that people know that what I’m writing is true and that it comes from a place of real feeling. People also know that I’m not going to back down and that they’re not going to win if they try to bring me down. Maybe it’s because I’m more of an alternative writer as opposed to a big website, but I’m not sure, because I know I had a lot of impact.

You often write about your sex life in your column — one titled “Mama, I’m a Big Slut Now!” comes to mind — but how do you know if a guy is really into you and not your social status?
Generally, I find that most of the people who are smashed and jumping on you in nightclubs are a little starstruck — albeit on a low level, because I’m not exactly Hilary Duff. But I stopped having a problem with that, because people are attracted to each other for all sorts of different reasons. Besides, being born beautiful is no great accomplishment; at least whatever fame you might have is something you achieved. In the old days, I used to think, Oh, gross, they’re just a groupie. Now, as long as I know what’s behind it, why not take a bite of the apple? Having said that, the two best relationships I’ve had — relationships that weren’t just one-nighters — were with people who had no idea who the fuck I was when they met me. That’s what’s going to work out for a relationship, because I know they’re not after gift bags and reduced club admission.

Do you see a husband and children in your future?
I have a fear of real intimacy. Whenever I do have a relationship, I make sure to break it up and drive the person away, probably because my worst fear is becoming my parents. It’s also because I grew up as an only child — Frank DeCaro and I are the only Italian-American only children in the world — so I grew up with a wall around me, I was shell-shocked, and I really didn’t speak much. Now it’s hard for me to take part in a long-term give-and-take with another person. Not to mention that my schedule would make it impossible, but I hate when celebrities say, “Oh, I’m too busy,” because you can always find time for a partner. Deep down, I just really don’t want it.

So much of your job revolves around fabulous people and fabulous places. Tell me about the last time you stopped and thought, Wow, this is my life!
Every day. I’m not one of those stop-and-smell-the-roses kind of people, but I am filled with gratitude for the craziness and fun of my life — and it’s crazy fun of my own choosing, because I can pick and choose what I go to and what I write about. It’s a really enchanted existence.

Now tell me about the last time you thought, Ugh, this is my life?
I really don’t think that way. I’ve had day jobs, temp jobs, and punch-the-clock jobs, so I will never complain about this kind of job. “Oh, how horrible — I have to go to a Broadway show, then a nightclub, and then come home, trash everything, and get paid for it?” No, I’m never going to say that.

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