Meet the (Cast) Members Behind The Penis Chronicles

The marquee of West Hollywood's Coast Playhouse has been turning lots of heads lately. Advertising The Penis Chronicles to a neighborhood very vested in the subject has raised the profile of the 99-seat theater on Santa Monica Boulevard. But the show, which consists of monologues of eight very different New York men, is not just about titillation — or the gay experience. The show "is a revealing perspective on the male psyche exposing the complex masculine experience," according to the show's press notes.

Written by Tom Yewell and directed by Randall Kleiser, the filmmaker behind Grease and The Blue Lagoon, the show reels audiences in with its title, but wins them over with its difficult, rarely-discussed subjects. We've asked Kleiser to share some of his favorite quotes from his characters about sex and masculinity; check them out below. The Penis Chronicles runs until January 11 at the Coast Playhouse.

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Photography by Greg Gorman

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Ali Zahiri as Roman

"When I walk into your home or hotel room, I will show you respect. Please do the same for me. Don't be vulgar or profane, and don't ask me to strip... let's work up to that."

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Ali Zahiri as Roman

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Ethan Rains as Tor

"I love so much about the human race. I admire men because you only cry when it's necessary; and I love women, because you always cry when it's unnecessary."

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Jade Willis as Rhapsody Fontaine

"Four years ago, in the Bronx, I was gonna take the 10 grand I had in the bank and get my new tits for Christmas. But life got in the way."

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Jade Willis as Rhapsody Fontaine


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Kelly Franett as Stanton

"There were 67 balloons hovering above the tables in the shape of Viagra. It made me laugh out loud. I like Viagra. I left afterword, holding two of them, and released them rising into the Manhattan night sky... contemplating the metaphor."

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Kyle Eastman as Trey

"They showed me a penis pump and said, 'Dude here's the solution to your problems!' I keep it hidden underneath the mattress."

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Kyle Eastman as Trey


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Ozzie Rodriguez as Artemis

"My dick got so hard; it stayed hard for three years. But it wasn't a raunchy hard-on... you know... it was a civilized, honorable, this hard-on's only for you kind of hard-on."

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Ritchie Hoffman as Brin

"He reached his arm over me and put his big bear hand between my legs and gently cupped my private parts like he'd done his own when he pissed into that 7-11 Big Gulp cup."

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Ritchie Hoffman as Brin

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Trevor Scott Campbell as Shane

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Trevor Scott Campbell as Shane

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The production team (from left): Producer/Composer: Greg O'Connor,   Director: Randal Kleiser, Producer/Writer: Tom Yewell
Tags: Theater, Theater

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