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#TBT: Dad Will Handle the Meat

#TBT: Dad Will Handle the Meat


WWII had been won, and Kinsey had published that book about male sexuality. What was left but to put on an apron and stoke up the grill?

Bbq_mashupx633_0_0 Dad struggled with his identity after World War II. Some dame had taken his job. Women were getting real jobs in offices, not just secretaries. Dad had to stake his claim in the new suburban dreamscape. Dad chose meat.

Manaical_about_meatx633_0Gramps used to get almost maniacal about those shish kebabs. Mushroom, meat, tomato, mushroom, meat, tomato. We used to yell "Easy does it on the java, Dad! You look like you're all hepped up on bennies!"

Stomach_pumpx633_0 We thought the stomach pump on Dad's apron was really funny -- until that time at Camp Upchucka. Apparently Dad's meat was tainted.

Burnthemeatx633_0Brian unfortunately burned the premium patties while comparing depth and length of pants pleats with Neil. Brian had deeper, longer pleats. Neil was nonplussed.

Onionsx633_0 Really, Dad? Onions? It looks like that thing Uncle Derek gave you last Christmas. Yeah. That thing Mom doesn't know about.

When_i_saw_himx633_0 Tim almost lost control of the beverages when he saw Diane's dad on the dock. "Like a bronzed god, with oars for wings," Tim mused to himself. Tim's fervid glances at Diane's father did not go unnoticed by Stanley, as he watched from the picnic blanket.

Stictlmen_onlyx633_0 "No, Earl. Strictly men only on this trip. Wear something festive and bring the cherries to put in the pineapple rings. Do you think you can handle that, Earl?"

Bendixx633_0 Apparently William Bendix went gaga at the sight of a plump, juicy hot dog.

Sister_wivesx633_0It wasn't me! Ida? Did you invite the polygamists?

Bukakke_quex633_0 "Yeah, that's it. Get closer in. C'mon, guy, get your skewer in there. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Man, that's hot. C'mon, buddy, room for one more."

Caucasiansx633_0 Caucasian cooking rituals.

Mid_century_modernx633_0 "Yes, Lillian. Apparently he's joined some 'back to nature' group. Loin cloths, drums, smoky tents. Vodka. Then he set up a goddamn barbecue on the living room floor. I will say this. The sex has been much better."

Whatthefuckbobx633_0 Wow, Uncle Jimmy. I can actually feel it cooking my face!

Sillymanx633_0 "Gay? Leonard and me gay? You'd think that in 1962 two men could create a lovely home together, share blazers, and make charming dinner parties for their friends without being called 'gay.' We're not gay -- we're ecstatic!"

Color_blockx633_0"Oh. you should come. I will be debuting my new raspberry raw silk sports shirt -- by Don Loper!"

Father-son-bbqapronx633_0Charles and little Chipper were proud as punch to wear the matching apron set they got for Christmas last year.

Proud_wienerx633_0"Ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's so small compared to my huge white bun! I guess I'll need three!"

Manlyx633_0 "The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life." -- Aunt Ida, John Waters's Female Trouble

Meantmanx633_0 "How-to-talk-knowingly with the meatman."

Happy_baconx633_0 Delores and Ralph were thrilled. Tofurkey(c) makes bacon.

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