CONTACTStaffCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
I came out as a lesbian in 1978, nearly four years after being ordained a Presbyterian minister. Dividing my time between Rochester, N.Y., and San Rafael, Calif., I've performed hundreds of same-sex marriages. My colleagues at the Presbytery of the Redwoods--which operates 52 churches from Sausalito to the Oregon border--have always accepted this, but when a minister from Washington State lodged a complaint they were forced to bring charges against me.
I immediately called the Washington minister to discuss his concerns. "I believe one's sexual orientation is a gift, and you believe it's a sin," I said, starting from that basic premise. I told him how seriously I take relationships, explaining how I meet with couples--regardless of their sexual orientation--for a year because I want them to have healthy, loving, and committed lives together. I was married to my ex-husband Jim before I came out as a lesbian, and I've been in a committed relationship for 10 years, so I understand that all relationships need love and support.
When the minister refused to withdraw his concerns, my presbytery decided to charge me with violating church regulations, based on two lesbian weddings I had performed in New York and California.
During the trial I explained that I am bound by conscience to use the words couples give me. For a long time I performed "blessings," "commitment ceremonies," and "holy unions." But now a lot of gays and lesbians are saying "marriage." I explained how all relationships are sacred to me, whatever you name them. And I feel a huge responsibility to help couples find the care and support they need.
The two couples named in the charges--Annie Senechal and Sherrill Figuera, and Connie Valois and B.J. Douglass--told their stories at the trial. I can still hear Sherrill saying to the commission, "If you have never been in a place where you've not been accepted, you wouldn't understand."
This is what happens when so many faith communities keep saying "no" even though we keep hearing a resounding "yes" from our higher power, God, our creator--that still, small voice deep inside telling us we are loved and cherished. But the pain of the "no" eats at the "yes" we know to be true. This painful break often means that many of us--for our health and self-esteem--no longer want to be in places that are violent to who we are.
Fortunately, the decision of the Redwoods Permanent Judicial Commission was prophetic and bold. In early March they ruled 6-1 that I had not violated church law by performing same-sex marriages. We finally heard not only tolerance but true acceptance--an invitation to break down the barriers and live out loud. For that moment we heard a resounding "yes." --As told to Lois Pearlman
Want more breaking equality news & trending entertainment stories?
Check out our NEW 24/7 streaming service: the Advocate Channel!
Download the Advocate Channel App for your mobile phone and your favorite streaming device!
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
Here Are Our 2024 Election Predictions. Will They Come True?
November 07 2023 1:46 PM
Meet all 37 of the queer women in this season's WNBA
April 17 2024 11:24 AM
17 Celebs Who Are Out & Proud of Their Trans & Nonbinary Kids
November 30 2023 10:41 AM
Which State Is the Queerest? These Are the States With the Most LGBTQ+ People
December 11 2023 10:00 AM
These 27 Senate Hearing Room Gay Sex Jokes Are Truly Exquisite
December 17 2023 3:33 PM
10 Cheeky and Homoerotic Photos From Bob Mizer's Nude Films
November 18 2023 10:05 PM
42 Flaming Hot Photos From 2024's Australian Firefighters Calendar
November 10 2023 6:08 PM
These Are the 5 States With the Smallest Percentage of LGBTQ+ People
December 13 2023 9:15 AM
Here are the 15 gayest travel destinations in the world: report
March 26 2024 9:23 AM
Watch Now: Advocate Channel
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Latest Stories
04/30/24
April 30 2024 10:45 PM
Sniffies now has filters for age, body type & endowment
April 30 2024 10:20 PM
Biden admin moves to protect LGBTQ+ kids in foster care
April 30 2024 5:55 PM