COMMENTARY: As an adult performer and entrepreneur, I receive, gratifyingly, a lot of respect in both the gay and the straight community. If I see discrimination, ironically, it’s mostly from our community.
As far as the establishment goes, I have been invited to speak at some pretty prestigious institutions, including Yale, Rutgers, Stanford, and Oxford, among others. The mainstream press has written numerous articles about me. I have been profiled in New York Magazine and The New Republic. And I have appeared on TV channels from HBO to NY1.
At the same time, one of my best friends, an anchor at the gay TV station Logo, didn’t just fail to get me on the network (though he tried), he was also told by his superiors not to socialize with me in public. It could damage the channel’s image, he was told.
When I went to the GLAAD Media Awards as the guest of one of the honorees, pictures of me on the red carpet appeared on WireImage.com. They were removed, on the request of GLAAD, within hours. It took some calls from GLAAD donors to have the pictures put back the next day. I guess that shows that GLAAD really does have some clout with the media: It can make pictures appear and disappear at will. But what a pathetic way to use its power.
One of the more bizarre examples of LGBT-on-LGBT discrimination I encountered over the years was from the respected organization Out Professionals. It refused to publish ads from my company (looking for, no, not the next hot porn star, but rather for an accountant) on its job board, depriving its membership of a well-paid job opportunity just to make a stand — well, against what actually?
I suspect that people who have experienced discrimination all their
lives, who have been viewed as damaged or immoral or, in many cases,
lesser than the “normal” guys and gals, sometimes have a tendency to turn
from the discriminated to discriminator. They seek somebody who is even
lesser than they are — and who better to target than the pornographer?
Except maybe the drag queens and transgender people whose place in our
community is still subject of debate in some circles ... or the “dykes on
bikes” who, when they lead gay pride parades, maybe don’t show us in quite
the light in which some of our supergays would like us viewed?
and superlesbians don’t like our diversity. They want to streamline us
as gymgoing, straight-acting professionals, sanitized for your
protection. Anderson Cooper will be their perfect role model, assuming
he ever comes out of the closet.
Porn stars and drag queens were
never in the closet. We were always brave and out there because, yes, it
is brave to be a drag queen, and you have to have guts to be in porn in
our society. It’s the nonhomogenized part of our movement that keeps
LGBT culture alive — a culture that is born out of our early experience of
being different than the majority and our struggle to turn this
experience of difference into a source of strength, creativity, and
uniqueness. Supergays try to deny the validity of this experience. By
telling us to conform and look and behave just like them, to fit in, to
pass, they blunt one of the greatest strengths we have as LGBT
But let me tell you this: The existence of people
like me may be a big inconvenience to the supergays. But they all buy my
porn. And so I smile, though sadly.