In a new interview of nearly three hours, a bearded Pete Buttigieg reflected on his coming-out journey, discussed how he met his husband Chasten Buttigieg, and had a hilarious reaction to claims that the Grindr app has allegedly crashed during Republican National Conventions.
On Wednesday, April 23, Buttigieg joined the Flagrant podcast — cohosted by Andrew Schulz, Akaash Singh, Mark Gagnon, and Alexx Media — for an interview that ran for almost three hours. Between discussing serious topics and commenting on President Donald Trump's current administration, the former U.S. Secretary of Transportation also got candid about more personal topics.
Buttigieg wrote a coming-out letter to his family during his military deployment.
While discussing his method of engaging with people who might disagree with his political views, Buttigieg reflected on his experiences before coming out as a gay man, noting that it was particularly "terrifying" to do so "as an elected official in Indiana."
Buttigieg, who was deployed to Afghanistan in 2014, explained:
"When you get deployed, they tell you to write a letter. I still have it, in a drawer, somewhere. The letter, it just says, 'just in case,' on the outside," he remarked. "And it's everything that you would want your loved ones to know: From your internet passwords to how you feel your life went. Because I was a reservist, I got deployed while I was in office. I just took a leave, stopped being mayor, started being a lieutenant, and went into my other job, basically."
He added, "As the sitting mayor of my hometown, I had a beautiful house. I had good friends. I had a good life. And that was part of what I wrote about in that letter. But in the back of my head, I'm thinking, 'All right, but I'm also a grown ass man in a position of responsibility and I don't actually know what it's like to be in love. If I get back, I'm not gonna let that continue. Whatever the implications, I'd rather deal with that than once again contemplate the idea that I could go to my grave not knowing what it's like to be in love."
After returning to Indiana and running for reelection, he came out as gay in a local newspaper.
Despite making bold promises to himself about the life that he would live after returning to Indiana, Buttigieg noted that this was "awkward timing" to come out as gay given that he was literally "in the middle of a re-election."
"And then one day I did it," he said. "I wrote a little op-ed in the local paper. I said, 'I don't think this should be anybody's business, but I know it's a thing. Here's something you should know about me.' And it was fine. I mean, it wasn't fine, there was some ugliness around it. But, you know, nothing ever happened that made me regret that I did it."
Pete Buttigieg met Chasten a few months later, and discussed how they met each other.
In the interview, Buttigieg recalled meeting his eventual husband, Chasten, a few months after coming out. (For the record: Certain clips from this Flagrant episode had subtitles that misspelled Chasten as "Chaston.")
"Did he jump on that immediately?" Flagrant's Schulz asked, clearly teasing Buttigieg in good fun. "Was [Chasten] like, 'Oh, hell yeah!' Did he slide into the DMs?"
Buttigieg replied, "No, I found him! We were on… It was Hinge, the dating app."
One cohost asked, "It wasn't Grindr?" But before Buttigieg could even respond, another cohost jumped right in, declaring: "Grindr is for Republicans."
Buttigieg delivered a pitch-perfect reaction to the joke.
"Grindr is for Republicans" had all five men laughing out loud and taking a beat to recover. Buttigieg, while laughing, tried his best to maintain his composure — but Schulz nudged him a little bit more.
"We do need to talk about why every time the RNC happens, Grindr explodes," the Flagrant host said.
Buttigieg's response? A smirk, a shrug, and a fourth-wall break. Category is: *Looks at the camera like Jim from The Office*.
Schulz teased, "I'm just saying!" Alexx Media added, "It seems like a lot of letters need to be written."
Watch Pete Buttigieg's full interview on the Flagrant podcast below.
