10 sex toys for all genders and how to use them

Finger Vibrators

What They Do:
Finger vibrators are usually rubbery (or ridged) pads you place over your fingertips, often composed of an adjustable ring with a pad that provides pleasure. Keep in mind, the bigger the bullet, the more intense the sensations they'll bring. They’re meant to be convenient, simple and easy to carry.

How to Use Them:
Garcia says that these can be great to start with if you’re looking for easy ways to start using toys. “They’re straight forward and leave you with a lot of options since they enhance a limb you’re already familiar with,” she says. Strap them to your finger and you’ll be good to go, but feel free to adjust where it rests on your finger to find what gives you the most control and dexterity. They will likely need lubricant — many finger vibrators are textured and can feel harsh when used against sensitive areas. Trace the vibrators over nipples, hips, inner thighs, and backside to tease your partner before applying it in more delicate genital areas.

Thrusting Dildos

What They Do:
Thrusting dildos or "pulsators" penetrate one’s body by retracting and expanding back and forth.

How to Use Them:
Thrusting dildos do most of the work for you, so there’s not much of a learning curve. They can be rather efficient at getting their job done and work perfectly if it’s a sensation you enjoy. “They’re a great option for couples if someone is looking for a more relaxed session but still wanting to connect,” Garcia says. “You can hold the thrusting dildo and still engage in play with minimal exhaustion.”

Rabbit Vibrators

What They Do:
Best known for being featured on Sex and the City, rabbit vibrators allow for dual stimulation, both external and internal simultaneously so you can have multiple erogenous zones reached for people that prefer both at once. While finger vibrators just enhance touch, rabbit vibrators create an entirely new sensation. It can be great for solo or couples play.

How to Use Them:
Pulse the dildo end inside you, until you are at your perfect, most pleasurable rhythm. Set the vibrations to your optimal movements and pace, working your way up, trying to find optimal placement to simultaneously stimulate yourself externally.

“All rabbit vibrators might not be set up perfectly for every kind of body,” Garcia says. “For example, if you’re inserting into a vagina, it may not reach every person’s clitoris.” That isn’t an issue with your body, but a reality that toys aren’t optimized for every person, so it may take some time to find the right one.

Strap-Ons

What They Do:
Just like the rabbit, strap-ons can provide a multiple sensation experience. “It’s like the acoustic version of a thrusting vibrator,” Garcia says. The harness straps to your hips and a dildo can either be inserted or come attached. It allows one partner to penetrate the other hands free, meaning those hands can be used for other sensations if desired.

How to Use Them:
Strap the harness on, insert the dildo if necessary and penetrate your partner. As for more detailed information such as positions, check out our 27 Lesbian Sex Tips Porn Won't Teach You for more detailed instructions. Here's a taste: If you're wearing a strap-on and penetrating doggy-style, try using a belt (preferably leather.) Loop it under your partner’s stomach/hips and hold the end with one hand and the buckle-end with the other. This will give you more thrust and control.

Strap-on’s require a lot of communication, Garcia explains, because not all harnesses fit properly and not all methods of penetration work best for each person. “This is one place to absolutely expect trial and error and to remember that you all are playing together,” she says. “Feedback and aftercare are also super important!”

In terms of what to look for, make sure you’re getting a harness from a reputable place so it won’t break when you use it! Finding the style that works for you, be it a boxer harness or a traditional leather harness, will be another process that takes time!

Vibrating Panties

What They Do:
A very specific kind of hands-free vibrator, these pulsing panties make putting on your underwear as pleasurable as taking them off.

How to Use Them:
Usually vibrating panties have to be within a certain distance from the remote or smartphone turning them on. However, there are a few different variations with different parameters. Less high-tech panties just offer a compartment for a removable bullet vibrator. You must directly stroke the vibrator to turn it on and off. Others have built-in vibrators with a cord that connects the remote to the underwear. Wireless panties are operated remotely. Depending on how far the remote can be from the panties, your companion can turn on as a surprise throughout the day.

Double Ended Dildos

What They Do:
Dual ended toys can include double ended dildos or dual end vibrators, or a mix of both. These are meant for couple play, intended to stimulate both partners at once.

How to Use Them:
These can be used between two people, where both partners will use one end or the other. In the case of a double ended dildo, one partner can insert the smaller sculpted end inside themselves and penetrate their partner with the base, similar to the positions used with a strap on. Garcia says this is another toy that may not be optimized for every configuration of body types in a partnership, so you may need to spend some time trying different things.

Cock Cages

What They Do:
Cock cages, otherwise known as chastity cages, are unique devices that serve characters who are aroused by not being able to get carnal satisfaction. Often metal or plastic, they lock with a padlock or key and prevent you from being able to get an erection. (They're basically the opposite of a penis ring.)

How to Use Them:
Secure a ring around your penis and testicles while the penis is inserted into the cage's tube. Determine a keyholder — you or a partner — and bolt up your member. That's it! You can even wear these in public. Cock cages are best suited for short intervals, not long-term use. To avoid chafing, apply lubricant beneath the rings.

Since cock cages are very commonly used in kink play, Garcia explains that doing research about kink dynamics and making sure to provide proper aftercare will also be extremely important!

Hands-Free Vibrators

What They Do:
These mechanical playthings help you rub one out without a lot of work. A hands-free vibrator sits on top of a clitoris, or another tender area, usually with appendages that keep it secure. Some also have penetrative arms. You can control the oscillations through a remote or even an app on your phone (don't let your mother use it to make a quick call.)

How to Use Them:
Lay face up as you insert the toy. Avoid clenching your legs, it will cause the vibrator to fall out. Establish the precise settings you crave, or let your partner (especially if they are out of town) control the cadence for you. Lay back, and let it do the work!

Penis Rings

What They Do:
Penis rings make a partner with a member last longer through intercourse by cutting off circulation. By preventing blood from flowing back into the penis, this amplifies and prolongs erections. Outside of cock cages, sometimes there are less toy options that center penises but Irma reminds us that all of our partners deserve pleasurable play!

How to Use Them:
Some cock rings rest on shafts, but others can clamp down on the penis and testicles. For a normal penis ring, apply lubricant inside the toy so it slides on easily then put on while the penis is not erect. The ring will become tighter as you become more erect. If it is meant to go over one's testicles and penis, set the ring around the testicles, one at a time. Leave it around the scrotum then squeeze the penis, head first, inside.

Nipple Clamps

What They Do:
These tiny alligator heads pinch down on your nipples, creating painful sexual stimulation by applying stress and reducing blood flow. Remember, chain size matters, Garcia tells The Advocate. The heavier the chain, the more weight it puts on your nipples.

How to Use Them:
Pinch the clamps onto your nipples, and you're good to go! Adjustable clamps have a screw that allows you or your partner to shift the intensity level of the pinch. If you’re just starting out, you’re likely looking for a pleasurable pain, so keep the intensity where it perfectly straddles that line.

Clover nipple clamps are not adjustable and not for beginners. Some manufacturers create magnetic nipple clamps, which don't involve a chain or weight and can even be used as faux nipple piercings.