WATCH: Stephen Colbert Has Lots of Questions About DOMA, Prop. 8 Rulings

Let Stephen Colbert ask questions that answer everything the right wing ever wondered about what happened at the Supreme Court on Wednesday.

"Because DOMA is dead," Colbert wondered, "my marriage, I think, is invalidated?"

"I think you're a lesbian now?"

"I'm married, why couldn't I defend Prop. 8?"

"Is there any way we are ever going to get the gay toothpaste back in the tube?"

"Is there any way we can turn the gay people and the black people against each other?"

Watch Slate's Emily Bazelon attempt to explain everything below.