I hope you had wine and pizza ready for this week's episode of Schitt's Creek, because we have a lot of feelings to eat and not a lot of time.
Celebrations are underway after Johnny and his team succeed in finding an investment group to finance the Rosebud Motels expansion — but Moira is disappointed to find out the Sunrise Bay reboot is apparently going ahead without her, after her falling out with the producers. David is both excited and anxious about going back to New York, and Patrick's mixed feelings about the move lead them to a conversation that's been a long time coming. We also learn some surprising things about what the future has in store for Alexis and Stevie.
Keeping up a long tradition, David goes to the motel lobby to pester Stevie for advice — this time about how to get Patrick excited about New York — and finds her looking professional and put together, cleaning the desk instead of reading or playing solitaire like she used to do. She's acting like a proud business owner now, though she won't admit it.
Another surprise: once desperate to get out of Schitt's Creek, Stevie has decided to stay and manage the original Rosebud Motel with Roland, and travel around North America setting up the new motels. "I realized I didn't need to live in a big city — I guess I just needed to know that I could." It's a satisfying future for her, letting her see more of the world as she was hoping to do, but also giving her a familiar place to land.
It also means David's plan to move to New York just lost several supporting arguments, especially when Stevie gets flustered and lets slip that Patrick was looking at a house for him and David before all this started. David has the good sense to immediately go talk to Patrick about it — and he's fully switched over to calling Patrick his husband now, even though the wedding is still weeks away.
Busy with her own New York plans, Alexis swings by the cafe to give bagfuls of her old designer dresses to Twyla. (Keep an eye out for the Raf Simons dress she wore in the pilot episode.) Twyla offers to buy them from her, and when Alexis refuses to take her money because "I've seen how people tip here," Twyla lets her in on a secret. A few years ago, right as the newly-broke Rose family was arriving in Schitt's Creek, she won millions of dollars in the lottery. But despite the fact that she "could be anywhere doing anything," she decided she already has everything she needs, managing the cafe and listening to everyone's stories.
("But wait," I hear you saying, "wasn't Twyla selling tarot card readings to pay for a new dishwasher just last season?" Which is true, but that means she was so eager to read everybody's fortune and most people wouldn't play along otherwise, and now you feel a bit emotional about it, don't you?)
Alexis tells Twyla that it's okay to spend a bit of money on herself every so often, if it's for something special — so Twyla decides to buy the cafe. She also tries to give Alexis a big check for her move to New York, but Alexis turns it down. "Even though I know I'm going to regret it in like a minute, I think that if I'm going to do this on my own, I need to do this on my own."
This friendship has been one of the more pleasant surprises of the series, and kind of the moral of the story, considering how rude the Roses were to her when they first arrived and how unfailingly sweet she's always been. Also, between this and the tarot cards and the familiarity with the local cult, are we sure she's not literally magical? Kind of a Glinda the Good Witch situation? Worth considering.
Of all the storylines this season, Moira's future has felt the most uncertain — which is why this resolution feels so satisfying, for Johnny and Alexis as well as herself.
She's asking if Johnny can put her to work as a spokesperson for Rosebud Motels when she gets a special delivery from Sunrise Bay producer Tippi Bernstein, with a note saying, "Dear Moira, you win. Welcome back to the Bay." After she followed Alexis' advice and stood up for what she deserved, the producers ditched her co-star Clifton Sparks and agreed to all of Moira's demands, including the symbolic diamond tennis bracelet; and now she has to start shooting a 13-episode season in California in two weeks. It's the comeback she's always been hoping for, but now on her own terms.
It won't be nearly as easy to leave as she once imagined it would, though. Later at Jazzagals rehearsal, she finds everyone wearing New York tee shirts, ready to trash Sunrise Bay for moving on without her ("I say fuck 'em!" Ronnie declares), until Moira announces she's been cast after all, and then they all love reboots. Everyone is sad to see her go — Ronnie even cries — and she can't resist a Hallmark-esque group hug. "May I just proclaim that I have never felt more buttressed than I have in your company, dear gals."
Now that we're here, it seems obvious. Of course the sense that David and Patrick have been off balance this season was going to end this way: not with the argument many of us were bracing for, but with a gentle conversation.
David goes back to Patrick's apartment, where Patrick is working on his vows, and asks him about the house. It turns out it wasn't even on the market, but after David admired it a few times, Patrick knocked on the door one day and asked the owners if they'd ever consider selling it to him. Now they're moving to Florida, but New York appears to have pushed that dream aside before it could even start.
When David says he doesn't want to make him move to a place he isn't excited about, Patrick only says "I'm excited to be with you." He's looking on the bright side, imagining a larger market for their business and trips to Yankee Stadium, but he's clearly sad about leaving. "It's going to be a tough goodbye. This is where we started our life together." He really would do anything to make David happy — but as we discover, there's much more to their relationship than that.
The real moment of truth for David comes from Stevie — which is fitting, since she was the one who pushed him to start Rose Apothecary and be with Patrick in the first place. They drive out to the house that caught David's eye, an adorable stone cottage with a big garden, and sit in the driveway staring at it. (Not to step on the moment, but I sure hope nobody's home.)
In one of the most emotional scenes of the series, David starts to cry, because he doesn't know why Patrick would do so much for him. "Good people do things like that," Stevie tells him, "hence the reason why we don't understand it." When she asks him why New York is so important, he says he has big dreams and some friends left there — but then she tells him those friends are blowing off the wedding for a music festival in Norway, and his heart finally breaks. "I want those people to know that I'm not a joke, and that I've won."
It puts a lot of David's personality into perspective, even the fuss over the wedding to some degree. Too many of us can understand the pain of fighting for love and respect while secretly wondering if we even deserve it. But what he has now is what anyone deserves: people in his life who love him and won't abandon him, who want him to stay.
He kinda ruins the mood by asking Stevie if she forgot to put deodorant on, but we'll let that go.
Back at the motel, the Roses gather for wine and pizza, and Johnny announces that instead of going straight to New York, he and Moira will be living in California while she shoots Sunrise Bay.
It's the final thing David needs to hear to let go of New York, at least for now, and he tells his family he'll be staying in Schitt's Creek with Patrick. "I just don't think I'm finished with this place," he says. "My business is here, my husband is here, and I'm just not ready to mess that up just yet." This means Alexis will have to fly to the big city by herself, but it's nothing she can't handle. "I've done it before and I can do it again."
This is very likely the last time we'll see the Rose family at home in the motel together. It's exactly the warm, affectionate scene we need before we start saying our final goodbyes. "I could not be more proud of my family than I am right now," Johnny says. "And as much as I'll miss this, being together, at least I can go to sleep knowing we're all going to be okay."
Our boy always pulls through in the end.
David puts a blindfold on Patrick and drives him out to the house as a surprise, and tells him that he contacted the owners and put in an offer — because good people do things like that. (Here's a fun fact: the last time David wore a sweatshirt with a flames design was when Patrick serenaded him with "The Best" at Open Mic Night. I'm going to fling myself into the sun, as the kids say.) When an emotional Patrick asks him what happened to New York, David says, "It's not where you want to be, and I don't want to be anywhere you don't want to be."
With that last conflict resolved between them, everything feels okay in a way that will get us through the end of the series — they'll have a happy life together, their business will flourish, they'll go on trips to California and New York and have family over for the holidays, all of it. And now we can head into the final episode and enjoy ourselves, with all our biggest worries behind us.