Gaysayer: Best Tweet Ever

\u201cYou'd think this bow tie would let me skip a few periods.\u201d

— Jami Smith (@Jami Smith) 1323062675

\u201cI'm not saying Snooki is a drinker, but rumor has it, the empty bottles of her new perfume can be redeemed for cash.\u201d

— Joan Rivers (@Joan Rivers) 1323446195

\u201cRoleplaying is like improv: when the hot cop tells you he's going to place you under arrest, make sure to respond with, "Yes, and..."\u201d

— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1323066105

\u201c"All the slingle bladeys! All the slingle bladeys!" - Beyonce Bob Thornton\u201d

— Josh Gondelman (@Josh Gondelman) 1322863820

\u201cAlmost crashed my car while aggressively trying to thumbs-up Wham's "Last Christmas" on Pandora and honestly I'd be fine dying that way.\u201d

— Chris Schleicher (@Chris Schleicher) 1323371150

\u201cI like my women like I like my coffee. I don't.\u201d

— Cary Lee \ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 (@Cary Lee \ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08) 1322945364

\u201cKeep your friends close and your enemies closer and your pets even closer and your doll collection closest of all.\u201d

— sam (@sam) 1323273832

\u201cMadonna's performing at the Super Bowl, which means I have to learn what football is. Thanks, traitor.\u201d

— Louis Virtel (@Louis Virtel) 1323062196

\u201cWaiting for Judi Dench to star in GINGRICH.\u201d

— Danforth France (@Danforth France) 1323134449