A judge handling
the contentious divorce of the nation's first openly gay
governor and his estranged wife urged them on Friday to use
''common sense'' during their split.
Cassidy also called former governor James E. McGreevey's
sexual orientation insignificant to the case.
session with McGreevey and Dina Matos McGreevey was their
first public appearance together since he resigned and told
the world he was ''a gay American'' more than two
Just before the
hearing started, McGreevey approached his wife as she sat
between her lawyers and shook her hand. He spoke and she
acknowledged him; the encounter lasted a matter of
At the hearing,
which followed a private meeting with lawyers, the judge
said the couple had agreed to continue their current
visitation arrangements for their only child,
The girl lives
with Matos McGreevey and visits her father every other
weekend and on alternate Wednesdays.
The judge also
said the McGreeveys should ''use their common sense and
shall not introduce her to any non-age appropriate
activities,'' a concept the judge said was
''The court can't
be your child's parent,'' the judge said. ''I don't
want to micromanage your child's life.''
The divorce has
drawn intense publicity, much of it brought on by court
filings in which the McGreeveys accuse each other of bad
parenting and other misdeeds.
One of the most
contentious issues in the divorce is what the child
should be exposed to. Her mother made McGreevey and his
partner take down a nude photograph in their home,
contends that Jacqueline should not be allowed to
sleep in her father's bed, and says that the girl should not
be allowed to receive communion in the Episcopal Church
because she is being raised a Roman Catholic.
At the hearing
the judge said the girl would not be permitted to sleep in
the same bed with anyone except her mother or father.
The judge asked
the two to be mindful of media attention surrounding the
breakup and to minimize the potential effects it has on
their daughter as she grows up.
''As she ages
she's going to see and hear things, and some of those
things may hurt her,'' Cassidy said.
The court also
appointed a parenting coordinator to help resolve
child-related disputes, although the judge has the final
In the courthouse
lobby McGreevey said the judge's comments regarding his
homosexuality were ''gracious and also reflected the law.''
and her lawyer, John N. Post, did not speak to reporters
Each partner has
written a tell-all book about the marriage, which ended
in 2004 when McGreevey, then governor of New Jersey, told
the world he had had an extramarital affair with a
male aide. McGreevey, 49, later claimed his former
lover tried to blackmail him and said he resigned
rather than succumb to the man's threats. The man, Golan
Cipel, denies having had an affair with McGreevey.
Friday that he has not yet read his wife's memoir, SilentPartner, which hits bookstores on Tuesday, but
that he plans to ''at some point.''
His book, TheConfession, arrived last September. He said
then that he had carried on his affair with Cipel
while his wife was hospitalized after a difficult
McGreevey said he was planning to join in a civil union with
his partner, Mark O'Donnell, an Australian money manager,
but did not indicate a date. (AP)