I realize that
this could be entitled "Proposition Fear," but
it doesn't rhyme and it doesn't
exemplify the true nature of the issue, either in
initial intent or the inevitable outcome. Proposition 8 is
an initiative on the ballot set for November 4, 2008,
that would change the California constitution to
eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. There
is nothing else to it. It is simply to "eliminate
rights."
There have been
many times in the history of this country where necessary
reform has been both championed and enacted. Reforming our
laws can be a positive process, one which makes this
country better and more true to what we stand for,
such as "All men are created equal," and
"Liberty and justice for all." In the
beginning, "All men are created equal"
actually meant "All white male property
owners" are created equal. Later reform meant
this clause was inclusive of all white males. After a while,
and an enormous amount of bloodshed, women and people
of color would also be afforded most of the same
rights.
Marriage has
taken even longer to reform. Antimiscegenation laws
prevented couples of different races from marrying. It was a
felonious crime, in which offenders could be
imprisoned, and were. This may sound like ancient
history, but it certainly is not. The case of Loving v.
Virginia, which finally rid us of this unfair
treatment of some of our "equals," was finally
litigated and won only in 1967. California should be
proud that it was, as usual, ahead of the curve:
California ended antimiscegenation laws in 1948.
There are many
cultures that do not allow anyone to marry the person of
their choosing at all. The person you marry is chosen for
you. This practice is still in effect within certain
religions. In this country, one has the right to
choose their religion; thus, engaging in the tradition
of your marriage partner being chosen for you, or picking
your own mate, is voluntary. This should not be
ruled...by the state.
Religious persons
are the overwhelming proponents of Proposition 8,
although many do not support Proposition 8. In point of
fact, two denominations, plus some religious advocates
from outside of California, are taking the lead in
supporting Proposition 8. In their zeal, they have
made many false claims in their attempt to frighten voters
into voting for Proposition 8, such as churches losing
their IRS status or same-sex marriage being forced
upon children in school. These allegations have been
clearly stated as untruths, yet the campaign of false
rhetoric continues in millions of dollars worth of
false advertising.
Here's the
real truth: Whether or not Proposition 8 passes, churches
are allowed to discriminate against whomever they
want, or to not discriminate. Some churches will not
ordain women or allow them as members of the clergy.
Some do. Some churches allow marriage ceremonies for
anyone who wants to make that kind of commitment, some do
not. Some do not allow divorce, or a divorce to
remarry. Churches are segregated, delegated, and
regulated by their own clergy and judicatory heads. Each
of us has the choice to attend the church we want to, or
none at all. Separation of church and state allows for
religions to have their own set of rules as to whom
they will accept and whom they won't, and the
practices they support and the ones they don't. They
will continue to be able to do so. Equal rights for
everyone under the law allows churches to proudly
define themselves as what they do or do not support. The
bottom line? Proposition 8 will not affect religious
communities at all.
As far as the
continuous lies about schools go, California law prohibits
any child from being taught anything about health or family
issues against their parents' will. Not only does
Proposition 8 mention nothing about education, [a
Sacramento] superior court has already ruled
these scare tactic claims...[to be] false and
misleading. They continue making these claims
regardless of the exposition of the truth to try to
instill false fear. [Editor's note: In August, a
Sacramento superior court ruled Yes on 8 must change its
argument in the official voter information guide
from saying gay marriage in schools "will" be
taught to "could" or "may."]
And what is the
fear? "Protecting marriage" and many other varied
wordings of the same sentiment, seems to be the mantra at
the core of this. This is very similar to the language
used in the antimiscegenation laws of yore.
"Protecting" suggests that something is in
danger; could be stolen or damaged. When others are
doing the same thing you are, when they believe in the
same values you do -- commitment and loyalty and
monogamy -- doesn't that lend support for the values
of marriage? Is a gay married person going to sneak
into your house in the middle of the night and steal
your marriage? Your marriage may be threatened by
infidelity, lack of interest, lack of commitment or,
tragically, by abuse or deception; however, other
committed married couples do not affect your marriage
at all.
Many people are
vehemently in objection to legal marriage altogether, for
anyone whatsoever, to the point where they would like to
have it legally impossible for anyone to be married.
Same-sex couples who believe in marriage believe the
same thing straight marriage-oriented people do if
faced with an anti-"marriage for all" proposal. They believe
in the right to make that commitment if they want to.
Personally, I am
a churchgoing Christian. I love my church, my
congregation; it's my favorite place to be. I feel
the safest and the happiest when I am at my beloved
church.
I am a straight,
female, divorced Christian who has chosen an excellent
mate (this time) and am about to get married, in my church.
I love my fiance more than I thought a person
could love another and thank God every day for him.
Exactly the way many couples of differing races,
religions, and orientations feel about their beloveds. In
many places and times, I would not be able to get
married. Because I chose my own partner, because I was
divorced years ago, because I am of Native American
heritage (now mixed with several other things), or if
marriage was outlawed altogether, I wouldn't be
able to be married. But I can. And I am.
I have been
making arrangements, calling my family, speaking with my
pastor, trying to figure out what to wear, trying to make a
list of invitations -- the same things many other
couples have been doing. I've been to, and have
been in, many beautiful weddings of late. Some are
same-sex, some are opposite-sex. They made plans for their
day as I am doing now. Food, location, family,
friends, flowers, reservations, flights...
I've worn a dress, taken endless pictures, and cried
tears of joy for all of my friend's nuptials in
the exact same way.
The only
difference is, there are people who want to amend the
California constitution in order to strip some of my
friends of their marriages. Forget about the food, the
location, the family, the friends, the flowers, and
the wonderful memories of that special day... It was
their commitment and love that made me cry.
These are people.
People with
pretty conservative ideals.
People who love
each other so much, they want to make it official and
legal, have a wedding, and celebrate with their loved ones.
They have happy photo albums and saved their cake.
They have rings and special things from their
weddings. They love each other, just like straight
people do.
Love is a big
word. I believe in Love. I believe that God is Love. I
believe in things like 1 John, Chapter 4: 7-12 and 20-21.
People who love
each other.
Really? That is
who you want to spend millions of dollars to
"eliminate the rights" of?
I don't
know what church you go to, but I'm sure glad I go to
mine. A church that believes in love and equality for
all.
And I'm
sure glad that I will not have on my conscience and in my
soul that I supported a bill of hate and fear and a
campaign of lies.
I am proudly
voting No on Proposition 8. And am proud to be able to say
years from now, when there are plenty more married couples
of all types and shapes and colors and sizes trying to
do the right thing with their marriage, that I did the
right thing.
I am an American
who does what we say we are...
Liberty and
Justice for all...
All are created
equal.
And I am a
Christian.
Who does what it
says...
Love one
another...
The greatest of
these is Love.
No on Prop. 8.
Pauley Perrette