Why Ellen Wasn't Allowed to Say 'We'

When Ellen DeGeneres began hosting her talk show in 2003, no one expected an out lesbian to become the darling of daytime -- including some people behind the scenes, who urged her to downplay her identity.

"This was a show that nobody wanted to buy," she said of Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show during a Tuesday segment of the radio show On Air With Ryan Seacrest. "They really didn't think anyone would watch a lesbian during the day, and at the time, no one wanted to see a lesbian at night either. So I was really out of options." Her first sitcom, Ellen, had been canceled in 1998, a year after both she and her character came out, and a subsequent sitcom lasted only one season.

After her talk show was picked up for national syndication, she was encouraged in the early years not to talk about herself in a way that indicated anything about her sexual orientation or romantic relationships. "It was really not just implied -- it was verbal," she told Seacrest.

As an example, she said, "I remember there was something that happened to my finger and I was in a relationship and I was going to say 'we' and they wouldn't let me say 'we,' because all of a sudden, someone was going to picture a woman in my life." She did not identify the "they."

"It felt horrible," she continued, "because I had worked so hard to be truthful and to come to terms with my shame of hiding something that I knew was not wrong, but society was telling me it was wrong." She worried that having lost part of her audience when she came out, she would now lose her gay and gay-supportive audience, who would be angry at her for hiding.

DeGeneres knew she had to appeal to a broad audience, but says she felt that what would be most appealing to any audience was honesty. Now on the show and in her stand-up act, DeGeneres is forthcoming about her life and relationships.

And as the show begins its 15th season, she said, "It means a lot of different things. It's not just 15 years of a regular person doing a job; it's 15 years of me that didn't think I would work again, so it really is a great accomplishment, and I'm proud of the show too."

Listen to the show.