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Queer Women in Their 30s Give Advice to Their 20-Something Selves

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When we're in our 30s, we sometimes wish we had known earlier what we know now. For some of us, recalling our 20s brings memories of late nights out with our friends, freedom, and fewer responsibilities than we have now. But as we have families, careers, partners, bills, student loans, or other grown-up things to deal with, we wish we would have known how to prepare for these situations.

In an effort to help the future 30-year-old queer women of the world, not to mention get closure on our regrets, we asked 10 30-somethings to give their 20-something selves advice they wish they would have received or listened to years ago:


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Cori Bryant: Choose your friends wisely.

Having moved around to three major cities in her life, Cori, 34, wishes she would have realized how to find true friends as an adult. It can be difficult realizing who is truly there for you and who is not.

“The first 10 people you meet are not the ones that last,” Cori says. “Somewhere in there, your instincts kick in and you meet the friends that will. It’s important not to rush it or to treat the ones that don’t work out erroneously, because lord knows women talk. Good friends will find you no matter where you live.”


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Laura Zak: Don’t hide who you are from your family.

At 20, Laura was still not certain of her sexuality. Now, at 31, while she does not regret the pace at which she came out, she says she would make sure to be up front about being in a relationship with a woman.

“I wouldn't want to steal the rich experience of self-discovery by telling her that no, not everyone loves Dana Scully the way you do, and yes, you prefer women,” says Laura, “I would, however, advise her to let her family know the first time she truly falls in love, rather than presenting her first girlfriend to them as her ‘friend.’ It will be slightly easier to come out to them if you allow your loved ones to share in your early happiness rather than pretend it doesn’t exist.”


Tags: Women, People

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