Bees to Honey

Gay blogger Jeremy Hooper leaves behind the blogosphere’s bitch-and-smear and learns that it’s more effective to befriend your enemies.



Most of us are
aware of the intensely antigay Westboro Baptist Church,
which has staged public demonstrations for nearly two
decades, claiming everything from hurricanes to AIDS
to the Iraq war is divine retribution for our
country’s tolerance of homosexuality. (Check out its
subtly named website, But who among
us can say he’s given church leader Shirley
Phelps-Roper a primer on bagels and lox?

Over the 3½
years that I’ve been writing the blog Good as You,
I’ve had the opportunity to engage in
e-conversations with so many antigay activists my
in-box is starting to look like it was transplanted from
Mike Huckabee’s computer. And while heated
discussions with these “pro-family”
types about our theological differences (and their
predictions of my future residency in hell) have certainly
occurred, they have also surprised me with their
kindness, genuine concern for my well-being, and

I’ve had
higher-ups at Focus on the Family eagerly offer me a tour of
their Colorado Springs compound. A prominent
“ex-gay” advocate invited my partner and
me to a family dinner. Other times, someone who has publicly
denounced gay life and gay love will write to tell me they
found a quip I wrote about them to be witty and
spot-on. The common message seems to be: “We
hate everything you have to say, but we enjoy the tone with
which you say it.”

Tags: World