Scroll To Top
World

7 Same-Sex Chinese Couples Reveal Why They Will Marry in Los Angeles

7 Same-Sex Chinese Couples Reveal Why They Will Marry in Los Angeles

Chinese-couples-400x300

The LGBT couples shared their hopes, fears, and dreams of marriage equality.

dnlreynolds

Seven same-sex couples from China will tie the knot in West Hollywood, Calif. Tuesday, in a group ceremony officiated by Mayor Lindsey Horvath.

They are the winners of a campaign, aptly titled "We Do," launched by their native country's largest online retailer, Taobao. Created in collaboration with four Chinese LGBT rights groups, along with dating app Blued, the Chinese equivalent of Grindr, the campaign seeks "to demonstrate our respect toward the aspirations and dreams of same-sex couples," said a spokeswoman for Taobao.

The marriages, which will be legal in California but not recognized by the Chinese government, will also send a strong message to China about the importance of marriage equality and LGBT rights.

The Advocate spoke with the couples who won the "We Do" competition about why they have decided to marry, the reactions they hope or fear to receive upon their homecoming, as well as what each partner loves most about his or her partner.

Yingjie Liu and Zhiguo Cai

Ages: 34, 34

Hometown: Heilongjiang

Been together: 13 years

How did you meet?
We were college classmates.

Why do you want to get married?
We hope to protect each other for the rest of our lives, taking care of each other and growing old gradually.

What message do you hope your marriage will send to China?
This will give positive energy to LGBT community in China, [and] make them believe in true love. Based on the situation in China, this will not bring substantial impact on public opinion. There is a long way to go, a lot of work to do.

Do you expect backlash from antigay authorities or family members after your return? If so, how will you address it?
We are planning to let our parents know that we have come out. Our parents are aging, and we need to face them truly to take care of their lives. We will hear doubtful sounds -- what we can do is to face it calmly. We cannot alter everyone's thoughts and attitudes, but we hope that people can admit the presence of different elements in society. We don't expect a complete acceptance and understanding, but we hope that we can comprehend each other and grow harmoniously.

What do you love most about your partner?
Cai: He is very thoughtful, [and] living with him makes me happy. I can feel the family-like warmth from him, which gives me the passion to spend the life with him.

Liu: Kind, humorous, treating me very nicely and will grow old with me.

Tao Lin (Xiao Tao) and Yanghai Zhou (Xiao Xin)

Ages: 32, 32

Hometowns: Jiangxi Ganzhou, Guizhou Guiyang

Been together: Three-and-a-half years

How did you meet?
We knew each other because of a common friend on Sina Weibo [a Chinese social media outlet]. Also, because of him, we had the chance to meet offline.

Why do you want to get married?
Both of our parents and most relatives know that we have come out of the closet, and we have the support and understanding from our families, too. Moreover, our parents are [participating in] LGBT public organizations. We are basically living in a closet-free environment, and our daily lives have no differences as those of the heterosexual couples. With regard to marriage, we believe that this is one of the most beautiful moments in life, for this is a witness of our love. We are also eager to share the joy with family and friends. It is not difficult to hold a "wedding," both in China and abroad, but what we really expect is the [legal] commitment of marriage or couple relationship. We have our lives together, and we are expecting to have the same rights and duties as heterosexual couples do. We don't want to see, one day, when we get old, we still can't prove that we are in "family relationship."

What message do you hope your marriage will send to China?
Since we joined this contest in February, we have gained a lot of attention from media and even request[s] to interview us.

Most of the media outlets have posted positive articles about LGBT recognition and acceptance. Even though there are both positive and negative voices in public, we still want to see more support and acceptance. We also believe that those negative and even discriminative voice[s] come out only because they do not understand this community, or the misleading information given by some media outlets. Therefore, we are expecting to give everything we have to increase social visibility of the LGBT community, so that more people can understand this large group around everyone, thereby enabling the legitimate rights and advance the protection of this community.

Do you expect backlash from antigay authorities or family members after your return? If so, how will you address it?
Since both of our families know the fact that we have come out, we will not encounter challenges from family, so we are full of blessings. If our colleagues, classmates, or friends read about us in the news, we will always generously clarify our situation to others, letting them know that the gay couples are everywhere and have no difference than heterosexual couples. As for the government recognition, we understand that there are temporary difficulties in legalizing gay marriage in China, but we still believe that, one day, in our lives, we can register as lawfully married couples in our country.

What do you love most about your partner?
In fact, it is very difficult to tell. However, we feel that most of the time we are compatible with each other's habits, thoughts, and actions. Everything goes so naturally between us. It makes us feel very comfortable.

Zhidong Hu and Xin Liu

Ages: 32, 31

Hometowns: Chongqing, Liaoning Anshan

Been together: Eight years

How did you meet?
Friends' gathering.

Why do you want to get married?
I want to hold his hand and grow old with him. Take life's most important journey, with him.

What message do you hope your marriage will send to China?
This will help the Chinese society comprehend and understand more about us, and hopefully accept this minority group like us. We also hope this can prompt [the] Chinese government to recognize same-sex marriages one day.

Do you expect backlash from antigay authorities or family members after your return?
Not worried at all.

How will you face them?
Just let things go naturally. Since we have made this decision, we will hold hands and face everything together.

What do you love most about your partner?
We have a lot of similarities. For example: birthday, personality, hobbies, and family environment.

Zheng Fu and Xiyang Song

Ages: 25, 24

Hometown: Jilin

Been together: More than two years

How did you meet?
We [got to] know each other when having dinner together.

Why do you want to get married?
We have a stable relationship, and we want to give each other a commitment.

What message do you hope your marriage will send to China?
There must be both positive and negative opinions in China, but we believe that this could offer people in China who don't know much about the LGBT community a window to learn more about us. This could give more confidence to people like us.

Do you expect backlash from antigay authorities or family members after your return? If so, how will you address it?
Not too much. Just be true to ourselves.

What do you love most about your partner?
Xiyang Song is a bit silly. Zheng Fu is really good at taking care of others.

Rongfeng Duan and Tao Li

Ages: 38, 30

Hometowns: Gansu, Sichuan

Beentogether: 10 years

How did you meet?
Online forum.

Why do you want to get married?
We wanted to make a promise to each other.

What message do you hope your marriage will send to China?
We hope the media will respond to it favorably and positively.

Do you expect backlash from antigay authorities or family members after your return?
No worries. We already came out.

What do you love most about your partner?
Personality.

Xiaolong Zhu and Zilong Wang

Ages: 26, 27

Hometown: Beijing

Been together: One year

How did you meet?
[The dating app] Blued

Why do you want to get married?
We just wanted to get married.

What message do you hope your marriage will send to China?
It's hard to change everyone's opinion. We just want to do the right thing.

Do you expect backlash from antigay authorities or family members after your return? If so, how will you address it?
Our families knew nothing about the marriage. The government does not care about that.

What do you love most about your partner?
He looks agreeable in my eyes.

Na Xu and Mengyao Xue

Ages: 28, 20

Hometown: Shandong

Been together: More than two years

How did you meet?
At an event organized by the Beijing LGBT Center.

Why do you want to get married?
We fell in love with each other.

What message do you hope your marriage will send to China?
I hope people can all see and agree on.

Do you expect backlash from antigay authorities or family members after your return?
We are still worried about it.

What do you love most about your partner?
The way she perceives artwork.

dnlreynolds
Advocate Channel - The Pride StoreOut / Advocate Magazine - Fellow Travelers & Jamie Lee Curtis

From our Sponsors

Most Popular

Latest Stories

Daniel Reynolds

Daniel Reynolds is the editor of social media for The Advocate. A native of New Jersey, he writes about entertainment, health, and politics.
Daniel Reynolds is the editor of social media for The Advocate. A native of New Jersey, he writes about entertainment, health, and politics.