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This Couple Turned an Antigay Experience Into a 'Teachable Moment'

Craig and Marc Hollid-Ausset
Craig and Marc Hollid-Ausset

A waiter at an Italian restaurant used a slur toward them, but they don't want him punished, they want him to learn.

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A gay couple from New York's Long Island say they want a "teachable moment" to come out of a homophobic incident at an Italian restaurant.

Craig and Marc Hollid-Ausset said a waiter at Casa Rustica in Smithtown called them "faggot" in Spanish as they were leaving the restaurant Friday night, New York City TV station WABC reports. They asked to see the owner or a manager to report the incident, but no one was available, so they posted about it on Facebook.

"We did it just to kind of create awareness and start a conversation of, Can you believe this happened still in 2019 in New York?" Marc Hollid-Ausset told WABC. "We should keep this conversation going, because clearly there's still work to be done."

The owner, Mimmo Gambino, called them Sunday to apologize, and he also posted a long message of apology on Facebook. "He seemed very sincere," Craig Hollid-Ausset said. "His apology was really heartfelt."

He offered to fire the waiter, but the couple told him they weren't out to punish anyone. "It's about a conversation and positive change, not negative consequences," Marc Hollid-Ausset said.

"It just has to be a teachable moment for everybody," Craig Hollid-Ausset added.

Two Casa Rustica workers have been suspended and will receive training on LGBTQ issues, Gambino told WABC.

The Hollid-Aussets said their experience shows the value of coming forward about discrimination. "Speak out loud, and people will be there to support you," Marc Hollid-Ausset said.

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Trudy Ring

Trudy Ring is The Advocate’s senior politics editor and copy chief. She has been a reporter and editor for daily newspapers and LGBTQ+ weeklies/monthlies, trade magazines, and reference books. She is a political junkie who thinks even the wonkiest details are fascinating, and she always loves to see political candidates who are groundbreaking in some way. She enjoys writing about other topics as well, including religion (she’s interested in what people believe and why), literature, theater, and film. Trudy is a proud “old movie weirdo” and loves the Hollywood films of the 1930s and ’40s above all others. Other interests include classic rock music (Bruce Springsteen rules!) and history. Oh, and she was a Jeopardy! contestant back in 1998 and won two games. Not up there with Amy Schneider, but Trudy still takes pride in this achievement.
Trudy Ring is The Advocate’s senior politics editor and copy chief. She has been a reporter and editor for daily newspapers and LGBTQ+ weeklies/monthlies, trade magazines, and reference books. She is a political junkie who thinks even the wonkiest details are fascinating, and she always loves to see political candidates who are groundbreaking in some way. She enjoys writing about other topics as well, including religion (she’s interested in what people believe and why), literature, theater, and film. Trudy is a proud “old movie weirdo” and loves the Hollywood films of the 1930s and ’40s above all others. Other interests include classic rock music (Bruce Springsteen rules!) and history. Oh, and she was a Jeopardy! contestant back in 1998 and won two games. Not up there with Amy Schneider, but Trudy still takes pride in this achievement.