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The crimes of dating may not hold up in a court of law, but there are still consequences when you are found guilty. As much as you try to outrun your reputation, it has a tendency to stick with you, just like your shadow. So if you want to get out and date, you better take care not to rack up a record.
Here are five criminal acts of sex and dating:
The Charge: Leading him on just to get laid.
The Scene of the Crime: You knew that you weren't interested in more than something casual, and you probably won't call after a night or two of fun. But it's clear that he thinks it may be something more, and you have no problem with leading him on to get what you want.
The Punishment: He and his will subject you to dirty looks and a bad reputation for far longer than what you think is reasonable. For years afterward, when he sees you, he will look like he just bit into a lemon.
The Charge: Lying about your interests to make him like you.
The Scene of the Crime: You can't believe that you've landed such a great guy and you don't want to let him get away. So instead of just being yourself and seeing if he feels the same way about you, you try to be the man he wants you to be.
The Punishment: Inevitably, the truth will come out, and you will be subjected to watching a man realize he was duped. You were fine just the way you were, until you lied about it.
The Charge: Cheating on him and putting his sexual health in danger.
The Scene of the Crime: This is a case that consists of multiple charges. It is certainly a crime of its own to step out on your significant other and be unfaithful. But it is far worse to have unprotected sex with someone else, and put your significant other at risk for a sexually transmitted infection without their knowledge.
The Punishment: The pain and anguish that you will cause your partner pale in comparison to the guilt and regret you will be sentenced to live with for the rest of your days.
The Charge: Turning a good friend into a drunken fling.
The Scene of the Crime: You and your friend have been besties forever, and you know there is no chance of it turning into anything more. But that didn't stop you from taking advantage of a horny moment when the two of you were drunk and there were no other options.
The Punishment: This offense carries a minimum of awkward moments, a possible period of mutual avoidance, and a lifetime of jokes about that one time. It may not be the end of the friendship, but it was a mistake that probably wasn't worth the consequences.
The Charge: Taking advantage of your friend's recent breakup.
The Scene of the Crime: It may be OK to hook up with someone your friend dated months or years earlier (and no longer has feelings for), but it is quite another to swoop in while the wound is still fresh. Instead of taking the time to console your friend after his recent breakup, you take your chances with your buddy's ex.
The Punishment: If you do manage to land your friend's former interest, you did so at the expense of not just one but many of your friendships. This dick move will make its rounds on the telephone tree, and you will be hard-pressed to find someone who cares when it's your time to cry over your own broken heart.
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