A judge in Chicago has ruled that a transgendered man can't have custody of a 10-year-old because the man is a biological woman who has no standing to seek custody of the boy. Cook County circuit judge Gerald Bender on Tuesday granted the mother sole custody of the boy. In his 13-page opinion, Bender ruled that same-sex marriages are illegal in Illinois. But because the boy has established a bond with his father, whose first name is Sterling, the judge ordered that the father have continued visitation with the child, who has been living with his mother but wants to live with his father. "[The boy] has bonded to Sterling, feels comfortable with Sterling, and wants to see Sterling," the judge wrote. But he said he could not violate state law, which does not recognize same-sex marriages. The couple, who remain unidentified for the child's privacy, married in 1985 without disclosing that the groom was born a woman and underwent hormone therapy but still had female genitals. The mother became pregnant through artificial insemination. The couple are no longer together. Cook County public guardian Patrick Murphy, representing the child, and other advocates for the transgendered contended that gender and marriage are irrelevant to a boy who accepts and loves his father as a parent. "We're disappointed. It was a very complex case," Murphy said of Bender's decision. "One would frequently expect the trial judge to make the ruling Judge Bender did and leave it for the appellate courts to sort it out, and of course we will appeal it." The father's lawyer, Susan Goreczny, did not comment on the judge's ruling. The father was not present in the court for the decision. The mother left the court without commenting. But her attorney, Burton Hochberg, later said he was "gratified" by the ruling.
Search
AI Powered
Human content,
AI powered search.
Latest Stories
Stay up to date with the latest in LGBTQ+ news with The Advocate’s email newsletter, in your inbox five days a week.
@ 2026 Equal Entertainment LLC.
All rights reserved
All rights reserved
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
The Latest
Support Independent Journalism
LGBTQ+ stories deserve to betold.
Your membership powers The Advocate's original reporting—stories that inform, protect, and celebrate our community.
Become a Member
FOR AS LITTLE AS $5. CANCEL ANYTIME.
More For You
Most Popular
@ 2026 Equal Entertainment LLC. All Rights reserved














Charlie Kirk DID say stoning gay people was the 'perfect law' — and these other heinous quotes
These are some of his worst comments about LGBTQ+ people made by Charlie Kirk.