A love letter to Provincetown and Family Week

“All of these families look like ours!” That’s what my 10-year-old excitedly shared with my wife and me as we were walking hand-in-hand down Commercial St. in Provincetown, Mass. It was 2014, and we had traveled there from our home in Indiana for our first time at Family Week, a week-long event for LGBTQ+ families hosted by national nonprofit Family Equality.

While my family and I had been to Provincetown as part of a New England cruise in the late aughts, that visit only lasted a limited number of hours and it wasn’t during Family Week. We had no idea what kind of magic was ahead for us on our trip to Family Week years later.

That magic started as we rounded the tip of Long Point Beach on the ferry from Boston to Provincetown for our very first Family Week. As we came around the tip of Cape Cod and the quaint fishing town came into view, we knew it was going to be a special week.

Provincetown, built on the ancestral land of the Wampanoag and Nauset tribes, is full of rich history, art galleries, cozy coffee shops, and delicious restaurants. There’s no Starbucks or McDonald’s — chain businesses generally don’t fit the charm of the town. Throughout its history, it has been a haven for fishermen, Portuguese immigrants, creatives, artists, writers, and LGBTQ+ folks. Today, the community continues to be a welcoming place, and that was apparent as soon as I stepped off the ferry.

Immediately, my wife and I felt safe to hold hands while walking down the street — something we still don’t do, even after 28 years together, in our Indiana community. In Provincetown, people don’t bat an eye at two women holding hands or two dads and their kids in coordinating outfits or a drag queen on a scooter promoting their show that evening – I’m looking at you, Miss Richfield!

The vibe of Provincetown — also affectionately known as Ptown — is exactly what makes it the best place for Family Week, now in its third decade and the largest annual gathering of LGBTQ+ families in the world. As hundreds of families descend on Ptown from all across the U.S. and even a few from overseas, the week bursts with kids and parents navigating the busy streets with strollers or on bikes. Some families stay in vacation rentals or historic boutique hotels, and some families camp on the dunes. Some, like my family, come from states whose anti-LGBTQ+ policies make the need for a place where we can exhale and just be, even more urgent. Family Week is a week when my family isn’t different. We blend in, and that’s beautiful.

Back in 2014 on that first trip to Family Week — a trip we saved for all year — we enthusiastically went to every single bit of programming that we could fit into each day — activities for our 10-year-old where he met friends he still connects with today, educational panels with policy and advocacy experts, the Beach Bash with LGBTQ+ families as far down the shore as you can see, lots and lots of walking and biking, and so much more. We crammed as much queer joy into every hour of every day before collapsing in our beds at day’s end. We were exhausted but energized at the same time.

After a busy, busy week making new friends, learning, and thoroughly enjoying ourselves, the week ended with the Family Pride Parade, where LGBTQ+ parents, their kids, and their extended families marched down Commercial St., the main thoroughfare, with handmade signs, rainbow flags, bubbles, and smiles. That first Family Pride Parade, as business owners and shoppers came out to cheer and clap for our families, brought tears to my eyes. It reminded me of the power of our love, resilience, and commitment to the LGBTQ+ community — my community. And it gets me choked up every single time.

Boarding the ferry back to Boston at the end of Family Week was a wave of emotions and gratitude – gratitude for the experience, the ability of our family to travel to Provincetown, the memories, and the acceptance. And isn’t that what we all want? To connect. To find your people. And to be loved and celebrated.

Family Week was and continues to be a truly transformative experience for my family. It changed us for the better, giving us the support, confidence, and connection we needed the other 51 weeks of the year.

I’m now employed by Family Equality, yet another transformation built out of Family Week, but all those years ago, I wasn’t yet on the team. Back then, I was leading communications for our community’s public transit system and — in between driving our youngest to baseball practice, volunteering at his school, and keeping connected with our oldest who at 21 was living in a nearby apartment — my family was searching for community. We found it that year at Family Week.

We all deserve that feeling of belonging. It’s waiting for you at Family Week in Provincetown.

Tonya Agnew is the vice president of communications and marketing at Family Equality and an 11-time Family Week attendee.

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