We lost it at the
movies

Take your film theory to France. The big reason we line up for the summer blockbusters is to swoon over gorgeous, magnetic stars who are larger than life and sexier than any human has a right to be. So here (in order of release) are the films most likely to make us deliver a "popcorn surprise" to our movie dates.

MAY

X-Men: The Last Stand 20th Century Fox, May 26

This series is so laden with coded queer appeal (and sexy stars) that it puts our cinematic Geiger counters into a frenzy. Sexiness bonus: In addition to the usual team of hotties, we welcome the made-over Ben Foster (Six Feet Under) as that iconic gay male image come to life, Angel.

JUNE

The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green Regent, June 16

With the hot guy from 2003's Camp, Daniel Letterle, the film version of Eric Orner's witty '90s gay comic strip had us at "mostly." Sexiness bonus: Look for a cameo by Reichen Lehmkuhl as the dream date. Of course.

Nacho Libre Paramount, June 16

Bear lovers rejoice: Jack Black dons a wrestler's tights and mask for a chance to save an orphanage in this loving spoof of Mexican flicks. Sexiness bonus: Ana de la Reguera as a very sexy nun.

Say Uncle TLA, June 23

Underrated sex symbol Peter Paige of Queer as Folk wrote, directed, and stars in this black comedy about a naive gay man who hangs out in playgrounds too much after his favorite nephew leaves town. Sexiness bonus: Gabrielle Union (Bring It On) befriends Paige just as the neighbors begin to think he's a creep.

The Devil Wears Prada 20th Century Fox, June 30

Meryl Streep is giving Susan Sarandon a run for her money as the actress who keeps getting sexier with each passing year--here as the boss from hell who is not--repeat not--modeled on supereditor Anna Wintour of Vogue. Sexiness bonus: Anne Hathaway, who plays her hapless assistant, sure grew up nicely, as we all saw in Brokeback Mountain.

Superman Returns Warner Bros., June 30

Brandon Routh, filling out that costume so nicely. Sexiness bonus: Kate Bosworth, moonlighting X-Man James Marsden, Adam & Steve's Parker Posey, and our favorite grandma-next-door, Eva Marie Saint, as Martha Kent.

JULY

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest Disney, July 7

We love a pirate, especially one with lots of makeup and the fey manner of Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow. Sexiness bonus: We're hoping Keira Knightley gets to wield a sword a lot more often in this first of two already-shot sequels. Oh, and that elf guy is back too.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend 20th Century Fox, July 21

Nothing is sexier than a strong, intelligent woman who can take care of herself--and no one needs protection less than Uma Thurman, who kicks around her ex-boyfriend in this high-concept comedy about a jilted superheroine who's really, really hard to shake off. Sexiness bonus: The more marriable of the Wilson brothers, Luke, is Thurman's hapless ex.

I Could Never Be Your Woman MGM, July 28

Michelle Pfeiffer falls for younger man Paul Rudd (The Object of My Affection)--and this is supposed to be a problem? We call it a reason for a party. Sexiness bonus: Tracey Ullman as the sharp-tongued Mother Nature, who puts all this farce into motion. Humor is the sexiest attribute of all.

AUGUST

Snakes on a Plane New Line, August 18

If there's a crisis, who would you want by your side? Samuel L. Jackson, of course, the baddest mother at the movies and compellingly doable. Sexiness bonus: ER's Julianna Margulies and the slithering Freudian symbolism of all those snakes.