dance is one I have yet to master. How do you find out if
the woman you are interested in is in fact gay? Previously,
working at Conde Nast, I used to roam around the
cafeteria assuming that all of the attractive,
seemingly straight women were in fact 100% straight. But
then I thought, I guess I must be 100% straight
too. I look like I could fit right in.
So how can you
tell--aside from the obvious, meeting someone in a
lesbian bar? Let's look at a different kind of
scenario. You are walking into Barnes & Noble, and
ahead you spot a woman who's just your type.
Let's say she's the spitting image of Rachel
McAdams (my new favorite), and you would love to find
out if she could be interested in you. I would first
make eye contact with her; see if her eyes linger, dart
away, or don't catch at all.
If she does make
eye contact and starts making the hand gesture of "Do
I have something on my face?" you're
either staring too hard or she's really not
getting it. If you're successful--the woman has
met your eyes, stayed, and lingered--you may be
on to something. Remember to relax. It's
exciting to get "eyes" from a hottie, but play
it cool. Follow her (nonchalantly) to wherever
she's going, be it travel, nonfiction, or (pray
to God) the gay and lesbian section.
Get close enough
to see if there's anything around her that may be a
conversation starter. If she gives you a one-word answer, go
find another lovely lady, and don't take it
personally. If she actually engages in a conversation
with you, you're in. Take your moment to smile inside
the clincher: You need to somehow drop in that you either
are gay or have a girlfriend or at least have had one.
Maybe something like "My ex-girlfriend loved
that book"--as your beautiful stranger holds
said book. If her eyes go right to you and
she's somewhat speechless for a minute, then
she's probably straight. If she follows with a ton of
interested and consequently interesting questions,
you've got yourself a bi-curious straight girl;
and if she tells you her ex-girlfriend hated it, well,
looks like we've got a winner.
Noble, straight bar, work cafeteria--this method might
help you determine a woman's sexuality. Or you
could always just take the easy route and ask her flat
out. I find that scares most people, so I stick to the
etiquette I feel I'd like to be approached with.