Why Are Dildos Suddenly Everywhere in Portland?

For generations, kids would toss shoelace-tied old sneakers up and over power lines crisscrossing their streets. Now this.

Dawn Ennis

The Advocate's news editor Dawn Ennis successfully transitioned from broadcast journalism to online media following another transition that made headlines; in 2013, she became the first trans staffer in any major TV network newsroom. As the first out transgender editor at The Advocate, the native New Yorker continues her 30-year media career, in which she has earned more than a dozen awards, including two Emmys. With the blessing of her three children, Dawn retains the most important job title she's ever held: Dad.

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Dawn Ennis

July 15 2015 3:06 PM EST

May 26 2023 2:18 PM EST

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Authorities in charge of supplying electricity to Portland, Ore., tell Reuters that hundreds of dildos hanging from power lines pose absolutely no danger to the public.

Now come the questions: Hundreds of dildos hanging from power lines? Why? Who put them there? And where will they turn up next? And why?

Worry not. We've got your back. Because we know this might be your first time, and yes, it's a handful.

As the dozens of rubber dicks dotted the skies over Portland, pictures of the pandemic of plastic penises perched on power pole lines popped up online. Gawker posted some from Twitter, one declaring, "Portland, Oregon is on a high dildo alert."

\u201cportland oregon is on a high dildo alert\u201d
— big natural 20s (@big natural 20s) 1436740892

\u201cThrowing dildos over the power lines has become a thing in portland. #keeportlandweird They're all over town.\u201d
— rabble (@rabble) 1435446041

Another tweet, perhaps from an exasperated parent:

\u201c#Portland: All fun & games until your 6 yr old child asks, "What are those?" as they point to the dildos in the sky. https://t.co/VJABPPFeQv\u201d
— Paul Ogg (@Paul Ogg) 1436840791

The sex toys turned up in pairs, reports Reuters: white and bright orange, large in size, strung together in pairs. In other words, not how they are generally found in the wild.

The Oregonian, which headlined its coverage, "Sex toys found hanging from Portland power lines. Yes, really," found a spokesperson for Pacific Power with a micropenis-sized sense of humor:

"The temptation may be there for tittering, but we want to keep the lines as safe as possible."

Other officials said there hasn't been a groundswell of complaints. "Actually, most of the calls we've gotten lately have been from the media," said Susan Barr, a worker at a Portland city and county call center, to the newspaper.