Thomas Beatie
gives The Advocate a first-person account
of how it feels to be pregnant and carrying
a child for his wife and himself.
To our neighbors,
my wife, Nancy, and I don’t appear in the least
unusual. To those in the quiet Oregon community where we
live, we are viewed just as we are -- a happy couple
deeply in love. Our desire to work hard, buy our first
home, and start a family was nothing out of the
ordinary. That is, until we decided that I would carry our
child.
I am transgender,
legally male, and legally married to Nancy. Unlike
those in same-sex marriages, domestic partnerships, or civil
unions, Nancy and I are afforded the more than 1,100
federal rights of marriage. Sterilization is not a
requirement for sex reassignment, so I decided to have
chest reconstruction and testosterone therapy but kept my
reproductive rights. Wanting to have a biological child is
neither a male nor female desire, but a human desire.
Ten years ago,
when Nancy and I became a couple, the idea of us having a
child was more dream than plan. I always wanted to have
children. However, due to severe endometriosis 20
years ago, Nancy had to undergo a hysterectomy and is
unable to carry a child. But after the success of our
custom screen-printing business and a move from Hawaii to
the Pacific Northwest two years ago, the timing
finally seemed right. I stopped taking my bimonthly
testosterone injections. It had been roughly eight
years since I had my last menstrual cycle, so this
wasn’t a decision that I took lightly. My body
regulated itself after about four months, and I
didn’t have to take any exogenous estrogen,
progesterone, or fertility drugs to aid my pregnancy.
Our situation
sparks legal, political, and social unknowns. We have only
begun experiencing opposition from people who are upset by
our situation. Doctors have discriminated against us,
turning us away due to their religious beliefs. Health
care professionals have refused to call me by a male
pronoun or recognize Nancy as my wife. Receptionists have
laughed at us. Friends and family have been
unsupportive; most of Nancy’s family
doesn’t even know I’m transgender.
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