Every week, The Advocate's Jami Smith brings you the top 10 tweets from LGBT comedians — and our favorite gay jokes from straight comedians, or just whatever made us laugh. For previous editions of this series, check out the Comedy section. Or join the more than 3,500 people who follow @gaysayer on Twitter now for daily updates.
A post from your host:
I tried having phone sex with this guy who's really flamboyant.He asked, "Who are you wearing?"
— Nick Stadler (@NickadooLA) January 21, 2012
Women's breasts are like martinis, one isn't enough and three are too many.
— Laughing Lesbian (@LaughingLesbian) January 26, 2012
Startin a book club in my car today. Interested? Can we use your car? Mine's at home. I'm at the airport. Come get me. There's no book club.
— Tobbie (@TheTobbie) January 25, 2012
Just left a note on the ex's car saying "I STILL LOVE YOU" hope it doesn't go unnoticed. I keyed it in pretty deep.
— PhilLaysheO (@PhilLaysheO) January 5, 2012
"War Horse" and "The Help" are the SAME movie! I watched them on my laptop and they BOTH have a 90 minute scene where I just check Facebook.
— Chris Kelly (@imchriskelly) January 22, 2012
I spend most football games wondering if any of the players have ever heard of Carol Channing.
— Chris Schleicher (@cschleichsrun) January 23, 2012
If we work together as a group, I think we can get people to start calling nosebleeds 'face periods'.
— alison egert (@alisonisfunny) January 26, 2012
Pretty soon, Grindr will have a function to identify who's inside you.
— Chris Doucette (@Chris_Doucette) January 27, 2012
Number 1, Best Tweet Ever:
Tonight the Katherine Heigl Film Festival opens in hell. It will last 100 years. Attendance is mandatory. Man, Satan's good at his job.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 27, 2012